Halloween: Horror & Humor

I have to say Halloween has turned into one of those holidays that no matter how much candy you try to give me, I can't ignore the fact that the innocence that once surrounded it seems to be long gone.  The industry has made it clear that women are to dress "sexy" and men should dress either in a uniform to be of service or as something indicating that women should um, service him.

Here are some ridiculous examples of costumes:

Beer, Nemo, Shower, Watermelon 

Being crazy is so hot.

Being racist never goes out of style.

There are plenty of racist costumes to choose from.

Don't worry, I didn't leave out the men! Here are some terrible costumes:

Isn't that funny? Captain Obvious is not getting a blow job in this.

One Night Stand. Because apparently only men can be interested in casual sex.

Sloppy Cop. 

I guess the Bunny is supposed to be funny or cute? How is this only for men?

It may seem a bit paradoxical for women to dress scantily and march in protest against victim-blaming during Slutwalks then turn around and protest revealing costumes, but here's the thing: women choosing what they wear on a daily basis and not having to be on the defensive due to said attire (because what a woman wears has nothing to do with rape culture) is completely different then an entire industry (the costume industry) that is clearly putting women in their objectified place. The other thing is, it's Halloween! It's about dressing up, fantasy, creativity, and if a woman wants to wear something that makes her feel good, and it happens to be revealing, then do it! Part of being a feminist is about a woman's right to own her sexuality.  Just because a woman is dressed provocatively, doesn't mean it's for anyone. 

When I was a nanny, I loved walking around with the little kids.  This year I painted my nails black, because I really like the way it looks! I'm wearing my bring pink skull t-shirt, black sweats and will watch a scary movie or two. On the list: The Shining, Silence of the Lambs, House on Haunted Hill (the original), Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Nightmare Before Christmas, and Friday the 13th.  Will I watch all of these, definitely not, but it's nice to have choices. 

N.Y.C. Black (3 coats) with Sephora Only Gold For Me topcoat.

What are your Halloween plans? Trick or Treating with kids? Do you think the costume industry has gone too far?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Cornell Gets Bad Press

I receive many e-mails through the human services coalition. Today, I received this press release:

Women at Cornell: Administration’s Appointment of Grant Farred as Head of Africana Faculty Search a ‘Betrayal’

A group of women at Cornell released a statement Thursday entitled “Women at Cornell in Defense of Ourselves.”  In response to the appointment of Professor Grant Farred to head of Africana’s faculty search by those officiating the current receivership over the Center, the women express a “resolute and sustained outrage."  They question the message and institutional implications of charging the professor, who is perhaps best known locally and nationally for publicly denigrating two of his graduate students with the epithet “black bitches” in the April 2010, with “shaping Africana’s future.”

 

The group, who call themselves the Sojourner Tubman Collective, assert that the administration’s failure to place the phrase “black bitches” in its proper context of historically-rooted and “socially-sanctioned racist sexual violence”--or even the pornographic and violent contents manifest in a google search--affirms their ignorance and even contempt for Africana and Black Studies.  The group describes the efforts to establish the Africana Center as triggered by a defense of Black women in 1968, after a cross was burned in front of Wari House, the Black women’s cooperative.

 

The group stresses that the administration's contempt is evident also in the university’s treatment of the Africana Studies and Research Center, in which we witness “the first directors in the Center’s history to have been selected without a vote or serious input from Africana faculty.” However, it is now also apparent given Farred’s appointment by university officials that it perhaps university policy to “reward the sexual harassment of Black women with decision-making positions.”

 

They conclude with a sincere expression of their praise of the two Black women graduate students, who suffered sexual harassment from Farred in 2010, for their incredible courage in speaking out.  In order to prove they have any respect for Black women at Cornell--including for students, staff, faculty and prospective incoming Africana faculty--the group demands that the university remove Grant Farred from his position as chair of the faculty search committee, effective immediately.

Why would Cornell University employ such an obvious misogynist?  Why does the administration continue to undermine the faculty who serve in the Africana and Black studies?  Why is the CU blatantly rewarding someone who is both locally and nationally known for denigrating students in the past?  It certainly leaves these questions unanswered, and honestly, what answer could they have that would make this appointment seem justified in any capacity?  I wholeheartedly support the sentiments expressed in this press release.

Do you agree or disagree with the opinions expressed in this press release?  What do you think should be the course of action the University takes to address this issue? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

In Brooklyn Women Told They Must Ride In The Back Of The Bus

Photo Courtesy: Jezebel

Today, Jezebel reported, "The B110, which travels between Williamsburg and Borough Park, is open to anyone, has a route number, and goes to city bus stops. However, the line is run by a private company under a decades-old agreement with the city, and since the bus is designed to serve the Hasidic community in the area, a board of rabbis sets the rules. They've decreed that women should sit in the back and men should sit in the front to avoid contact between members of the opposite sex."

When a woman who volunteered to challenge this regulation to witness what, if any, repercussions would occur, she paid the fare and took a seat in the front of the bus. Columbia Journalism School's The New York World reports 

"They were Orthodox Jews with full beards, sidecurls and long black coats, who told her that she was riding a "private bus" and a "Jewish bus." When she asked why she had to move, a man scolded her. "If God makes a rule, you don't ask ‘Why make the rule?'" he told Franchy, who rode the bus at the invitation of a New York World reporter. She then moved to the back where the other women were sitting. The driver did not intervene in the incident.

Honestly, I was a bit disappointed that there was nothing else that happened.  That the woman who volunteered to ride the bus didn't get into a discussion about women's rights, discrimination laws, and refused to move. And with everything going on in the world you may think, so what?  Just sit in the back of the bus. But for one, it's not a private bus so the Orthodox Jewish Community has no right to make such a rule for public transportation.  It's also not just about seating on the bus; it's another example of how women are treated as second-class citizens. What would happen if these women asked for a women's only bus?  If men demanded so?  How do a group of these men treat women who are not orthodox when they encounter them in the world?  It brings a lot of questions as to where are the lines between separation between religious affiliation and common courtesy, oh right and discrimination laws.  The fact is, this shouldn't even be a discussion because until the Private Transportation Corporation who pays the city to run the route somehow alters their relationship with the city so the Orthodox Jewish Community is then exempt from discrimination laws in the public sector, "it's the same as a man screaming at a woman about her choice of seat on any other form of public transportation." 

What are your thoughts?  As a woman have you experienced this kind of discrimination anywhere?  As a man, how do you react to this discrimination occurring?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com 

Tumblr Tuesday! Feminism Is For Lovers

It's Tumblr Tuesday! Feminism is for Lovers is the pick of the week!  On the homepage you will find this quote:

"We are a community that reclaims feminist thought and action from the taboo that it's hateful, by demonstrating how feminism liberates and empowers both men and women today. Sharing FifL in public promotes positive self-expression and open dialogue, the first steps in self-determination and community transformation. FifL's mission is to provide you with fresh tools to do just that--spread the Word and the Love." 

Here are some of my favorite pictures blogged or reblogged from FifL. 

 You can also find Feminism Is For Lovers on facebook!

Do you have a tumblr you want featured for Tumblr Tuesday?  Do you think feminism is important?  Are you a feminist?  Do you have a favorite feminist site you want to share?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

The So-Called Protect Life Act: Pro-life? Let's Call It What It Is: Anti-Choice!

You'd think attacking women's rights and trying to systematically oppress women through bills concerning these rights would be out of style at this point. Nope!  Yesterday, a bill passed in the House of Representatives that would make it legal for hospitals to deny abortions to pregnant women even with life-threatening conditions.

Through the so-called Protect Life Act, "The bill would prevent a woman from buying a private insurance plan that includes abortion coverage through a state health care exchange, even though most insurance plans currently cover abortion. An even more controversial aspect of the bill would allow hospitals that are morally opposed to abortion, such as Catholic institutions, to do nothing for a woman who requires an emergency abortion procedure to save her life. Current law requires that hospitals give patients in life-threatening situations whatever care they need, regardless of the patient's financial situation, but the Protect Life Act would make a hospital's obligation to provide care in medical emergencies secondary to its refusal to provide abortions."

And yet "the Affordable Care Act already keeps public dollars separate from the private insurance payments that cover abortion. A federal judge ruled in August that the anti-abortion group Susan B. Anthony List had to stop making the claim on its website that "Obamacare" subsidizes abortions because the assertion is false."


Making the argument that this bill should remain as a way "to ensure that no taxpayer dollars flow to health care plans that cover abortion and no health care worker has to participate in abortions against their will" is misinformation that seems to lack the insight that someone working in the healthcare profession who doesn't perform a legal medical procedure that puts the woman at risk isn't protecting life at all. As my friend Marissa said, "It's willfully taking it."  Nancy Keenan, president of NARAL Pro-Choice America, called the House passage of the “Let Women Die” bill, otherwise known as H.R.358, yet another reminder of how playing politics with women’s health and privacy is a priority for Speaker John Boehner.  “Americans are facing real challenges, yet House Speaker John Boehner is ignoring the public’s call for Congress to focus on jobs.  Instead, he is coming up with new ways to give politicians more control over our personal, private decisions. The House’s attacks on women’s freedom and privacy are out of touch with our nation’s values and priorities.”

So can we please STOP calling their side pro-life? They are clearly not pro-life! They are anti-choice. What continues to baffle me are not only the men who want to strip women of their reproductive rights, which in a heterosexual relationship directly affects men too, but the women who stand up and argue that women should not have the right to choose what happens to her own body.  Being pro-choice does not make me anti-life; it makes me aware that there is no simple black and white answer, no simple blanket approach to an issue like reproductive rights, and no way that I can claim that other women shouldn't have the right to choose what happens to their bodies.  I come from a place of white privilege and understand that even in my times of struggle am not faced with the same obstacles, misconceptions, or overall disenfranchisement of many women who tend to be left out of these debates.  Identifying as pro-choice does not make me anti-life, it also doesn't mean I'm out having promiscuous sex without birth control, using plan-b as a form of birth control, that I've had an abortion myself which is why I support a woman's right to have one, or that I myself would choose to have one if faced with such a question; it simply means I believe women, all women, deserve the right to choose. 

Do you agree or disagree with the belief women deserve the right to choose?  Do you believe women's health deserves and needs to be protected?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Horrific Halloween Costume: "Anna Rexia"

Photo Source: Jezebel

Isn't disordered eating hilarious? As if women's Halloween costumes aren't awful enough with a sexy version of anything you can think of, now, you too can parade around in your "Anna Rexia" costume.  Well, only if you were one of the lucky few who got to order yours before Ricky's, the costume and beauty store chain pulled it from their site due to, shocker, multiple complaints!

Apparently there is a hot trend in the fashion world-- What Came First, the Ad or the Attitude?, and Topman T-Shirts: Misogyny Prevails-- making it blatantly obvious the value of women, because starving yourself, being stupid, and violence against women are all hilarious! Ha. Ha. Huh?!  Waiting for one of the reps from any of these companies to come right out and just simply say 'sorry, it was a mistake.' No bullshit, no attempts of trying to justify, just sorry. Or better yet, how about have the intelligence to not create such offensive clothing to begin with with.

It's more than just a Halloween costume or T-shirt.  It's the sentiment behind the messages.  These pieces of clothing not only perpetuate but also condone the grossly distorted images of beauty women are supposed to fit into and adhere to, as well as contributing to the systematic psychological coercion perpetrated towards women.  To simply ignore the intimidation through language and images that can eventually lead to physical outcomes is just irresponsible.

Do you know what you're going to be for Halloween this year?  Do you agree or disagree that this costume is going too far?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Topman T-shirts: Misogyny Prevails

You too can wear degrading t-shirts! Where your misogyny on your sleeve, well, emblazoned across your chest that is!  Oh Boy!  Topman has joined the ranks of terrible messages via t-shirts.  

Both of the shirts are complete derogatory towards women, and one insinuates violence against women being acceptable. The grey t-shirt that reads, "Nice new girlfriend what breed is she?"  is just another example as how women are still objectified, here for viewing pleasure.  Remember, homework is too hard for us small-minded ladies.  And the red t-shirt, the "I'm so sorry, but..." t-shirt that has these excuses for whatever fucked up thing that was done, you can choose one of these: You provoked me, I was drunk, I was having a bad day, I hate you, I didn't mean it, and I couldn't help it, is the most appalling.  But calm down right?  All of them sound like completely acceptable responses, right? WTF!  As if an apology after a misogynistic comment is somehow made acceptable because of any of these reasons?!  Or that an apology is actually sincere when it's followed by a "but" comment.  

The implications are much greater than just wearing a t-shirt.  The message it continues to send to men is that they have the right to do whatever they want and women are left carrying the weight of having to be on the defense.  A person who would buy this t-shirt is the kind of person who puts the blame on the victim of sexual harassment, assault, or rape.  Who are the creative minds behind such appalling messages?  Why do we want people walking around with shirts like this?  Why continue the message that masculinity is characterized by not only physical prowess through violence, egotism & misogyny?  What happened to breaking stereotypes of all kinds instead of feeding into them?  What about being honorable and courageous as things we instill as noteworthy characteristics, for not just men, but women too?  What happened to respect and dignity?  Since these things are socially constructed, why would we want to further the notion that disrespecting women and any violence towards them is acceptable?

What do you think about the t-shirts?  Is it just clothing or more than that?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com