Fat Friday! (On Monday) Gabi Gregg

What is round on both sides and high in the middle?

OHIO!

Last week was the first week of training at my new job and Friday we were on the road to Ohio to visit my partner's family for his mother's birthday. So I'm giving you readers (there are still readers out there, right?) the Fat Friday post today!

Gabi Gregg is the author of a plus-size fashion blog Gabi Fresh and the feature in this post! 

She was mentioned in a previous piece Fat Fashion: A Continued Conversation.  

Gabi was recently named one of Glamour's 21 Most Amazing Young Women of 2011.  

You can read more about her experience and her outfit at this event on her blog. You can also find her on facebook. As a young, fat, and fabulous lady myself, I am happy to see a lovely lady such as Gabi get recognition. At my smallest and most fit, I wore a size 12, and I didn't have such sites for inspiration or solidarity when I was in my teens/early twenties and I am so glad that they exist now. On the days where I don't feel like I deserve to wear something beautiful or feel stunning I am reminded that is because the industry certainly makes women of average to plus size work even harder to find clothing that is stylish, affordable, and comfortable. 

Who do you turn to for fashion inspiration? Who do you admire, famous or not, for their fashion sense, or for their common sense? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat People Can't Be Trusted

Did you suffer from a case of the Mondays?  Not today!  I woke up ready for this week to start.  I started training at my new job today. After being out of work for ten months I am grateful to have a job again and humbled to be making less than what I made when I was 18 years old. But today is not one of those days where the fact that it's getting dark out earlier (because of daylight savings) or that the soon-to-be amount of my paychecks will not reach a certain number will get in my way; I have gratitude.

Are you dying to know what my new job is?! I know you are, so I will end the suspense now and tell you it's at the gym! The woman who is training me seems really nice and it will be a big change from being the only person on at the front desk at the bookstore; there are many who work at the gym.  The crew seems pretty sarcastic too, which fits my personality nicely. What's great too is because I have worked with some of the trainers I don't feel completely out of place because there are familiar faces. Though it is strange being on the other side of the front desk to a facility I have used for years. But I believe it will give me some interesting observations to write about. It makes me laugh that through my lifetime of body image issues and just recently working towards any level of self-acceptance, that I get a job at a gym at my heaviest and yet feel less insecure about my body in general than I have in the past decade.

Life just continues to be paradoxical and amusing and surprising. Here is a video I also re-blogged on my tumblr today, but thought it would end this post nicely.

Did you suffer from a case of the Mondays? Are you struggling to find a job? Do you identify with the struggle for self acceptance or issues with body image? Have you held a job that made you feel more or less insecure about how you look? Tell me something or ask by commenting below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat Friday! Why Weight Doesn't Matter

It's Fat Friday! Here are quotes from Fat? Who Cares! Why Weight Doesn't Matter By Peter Jaret

“Overweight women who walked more than four hours a week had a significantly lower risk of heart disease than those who didn’t exercise. This says to me that the most important risk factor isn’t being fat; it’s being sedentary.”

“One important study, an analysis of more than 5,000 participants in a national government sample, showed that 35 percent of obese women don’t have the constellation of health problems typically linked to higher weight. Specifically, they showed no more than one sign of these issues: high blood pressure, high triglycerides, low HDL [“good”] cholesterol, elevated glucose levels, insulin resistance and systemic inflammation. And there are some health concerns, such as osteoporosis, that are much less common in people categorized as overweight or obese.”

“There’s something researchers call the “obesity paradox”—that people who are heavier tend to survive longer than thinner people with the same disease…Why isn’t entirely clear. But the findings call into question the widely held belief that being overweight or obese is always dangerous and suggest that it may be protective in some ways.”

“When researchers at the German Institute of Human Nutrition in Potsdam-Rehbrücke looked at more than 12,000 middle-aged men and women for a study published in 2005, they found that obese men and women whose weight fluctuated over a two-year period were four times as likely to develop hypertension as the obese people whose weight remained stable. An earlier Italian study reported that women who had lost weight at least five times in five years were more likely to have high blood pressure than those whose weight remained stable.”

“My colleagues and I did a study, reported in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association, that confirms the usefulness of this approach. We randomly divided 78 obese chronic dieters, all female, into two groups: One followed a conventional weight-loss diet; the other enrolled in the Health at Every Size [HAES] plan, which emphasizes eating in response to hunger cues. Both programs lasted six months, and subjects were evaluated two years after the study’s beginning. By six months, 42 percent of the conventional-diet-program participants had dropped out, but only 8 percent of the HAES members had departed. The dieters did lose weight in the first six months, but two years later they had, on average, regained it all. Women in the HAES group did not lose or gain weight; they stayed the same weight throughout the two years. By the end of the study period, the HAES women showed significant improvements in their LDL [“bad”] cholesterol and systolic [the top number] blood pressure; the dieting group ended up where it had started. In addition, 53 percent of those following a diet reported feeling like failures; none of the HAES women did. So I think our message needs to encourage people to become healthy rather than focus on weight loss.”

“We need to resist the notion that being thin is the path to happiness. It isn’t. Trying to become thin can make people very unhappy. We’ve become so obsessed with weight that it’s a major revolution for people to say, “Hey, I can choose to see myself as attractive.” We’d all be much happier if we honored size diversity and focused on healthy choices, letting our weight fall naturally where it may.”

Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

A Quick Conversation I Tried Not To Have

I have always been a fat girl.  Ever since being teased as a young girl, I have internalized those feelings and no matter what the number on the scale, or the size of my pants, or how athletic I have been I have felt the same about my body: uncomfortable, unattractive, trapped.  It has only been recently, in the past six months or so, that I have begun the arduous work of digging deep and looking at my relationship with my body and working on accepting where I am today. Like with anything, some days are better than others; yet, at my heaviest, I have found more acceptance for curve of my hips, the softness of my belly, the fullness of my breasts.  At my heaviest, I can still do yoga, row, workout on the arc trainer for an hour, lift weights, laugh, and love.  I am capable in my body.

It amazes me, still, what people--strangers--find acceptable conversation to have with me because of my size.  Over the weekend, during a beautiful Autumn afternoon, I went to the gym to help burn off some calories, but to feel good; working out or just moving my body always helps me with stress.  A woman who I have seen at the gym in the past, was getting on a machine two away from me and the conversation I didn't want to have went something like this:
Stranger: "Who told you about these machines?"
Me: "Um, I've used these machines for a while.  My personal trainer told me to get off the elliptical all together and stay on the arc trainer."
Stranger: "Once the weight comes down you won't have to be so careful about your knees."
Me--still working out with one headphone on--: "It's a good workout.  I use the treadmill just to walk to loosen up or cool down."
Stranger--still not working out--: "Yea who told you about the incline on here? I can't get above 28."
Me: "No one, I just push myself."  At this point she probably said something about weight and knees two or three times and I didn't really want to talk to her to begin with, especially since I was trying to finish up and talking to her was making me turn my neck.
Stranger: "I can't get over 28."
Me: "Well, have a good work out."

Seriously annoying.  I'm here to workout, not qualify myself as an athlete or look for solidarity from strangers who make inappropriate comments to begin with.  Just workout.  I don't need to hear about your knees, or be told by you or anyone else for that matter, about what I need to be worrying about in regards to my body.  I don't need to do anything.  I choose to workout because it makes me feel better, because I want to be in better shape, and yes losing weight would be great, but acknowledging that I am capable now, in the body I'm in now is important. The message we are always told is that women are the number on the scale; their level of importance, their morality, their capabilities are all based on a number that has been defined for us, not by us. I am so tired of fat being so derogatory and also defining.  If someone is fat, they are seen as fat before anything else. It as seen as worse then most things, as if skinny is somehow associated with capable, smart, kind; fat tends to be associated with being lazy, uneducated, incapable. Fat or skinny, this is only one adjective to describe anyone; it is not the end all be all.

Have you ever experienced bullying because of how you look? Whether you are skinny or fat, have you had people approach you to talk to you about your weight in appropriately? What are some of the stereotypes you have faced due to how your body looks? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat Friday! The Adipositivity Project

Substantia Jones, the photographer and brains behind this project, wrote this mission statement explaining her goals:

MISSION:
The Adipositivity Project aims to promote size acceptance, not by listing the merits of big people, or detailing examples of excellence (these things are easily seen all around us), but rather, through a visual display of fat physicality. The sort that’s normally unseen.

The hope is to widen definitions of physical beauty. Literally.

The photographs here are close details of the fat female form, without the inclusion of faces. One reason for this is to coax observers into imagining they’re looking at the fat women in their own lives, ideally then accepting them as having aesthetic appeal which, for better or worse, often translates into more complete forms of acceptance.

The women you see in these images are educators, executives, mothers, musicians, professionals, performers, artists, activists, clerks, and writers. They are perhaps even the women you’ve clucked at on the subway, rolled your eyes at in the market, or joked about with your friends.
This is what they look like with their clothes off.

Some are showing you their bodies proudly. Others timidly. And some quite reluctantly. But they all share a determination in altering commonly accepted notions of a narrow and specific beauty ideal.

I love this project! Like the woman in the video expresses, where are we ever exposed to images of fat women celebrating them? We are constantly bombarded with derogatory or denigrating messages towards images of varying sizes; god forbid a woman wear anything above a size 4-6. Oh wait, the average size a woman wears is a 12-14. Even the word fat is never used as simply an adjective, the tone is always negative.  The beautiful images in this project have varying tones and no matter what the tone may be, whether it's joyous or pensive, they are all featuring the beauty of the woman, not in spite of being fat, but a moment of her beauty and her fat.

What do you think about this project?  Do you have any other photographer or artist who is doing similar work? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat Friday: Tara Lynn, Whales, and Body Image

Tara Lynn, Photo Courtsey: Elle Magazine

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?!

This picture of french model Tara Lynn and message below in a post originated by Delphine Feiberg has been reblogged over and over again. I came across it through a friend on her facebook page. I love the body positive message. However, what's obnoxious is it's a picture of an average sized woman and yet the message is of acceptance. Maybe I'm more sensitive to the term "whale" since I remember in 5th grade being called this name repeatedly. As if that time in a young girl's life isn't awkward enough, to have the immaturity of young boys call you a "whale" because you have hips and breasts before many of the other girls certainly added to my dysmorphic view of my body. It was the beginning of a continuous battle of being able to see myself clearly. Lately, I have been able to embrace my body and all of it's rolls and curves--even being at the heaviest I've ever been--but today is not one of those days. Today I woke up not wanting to look in a mirror, not wanting to get dressed, not want to have to try and find something to wear that I feel good in. Today is one of those days that I wish the sixteen year old girl version of me had the community of body acceptance and was exposed to more images of healthy looking women. Today is one of those days that knowing the size of my pants and the number on the scale haunts me and I long for the body I had a decade ago; one that I didn't love then. These melancholic feelings come usually once a month, becoming louder when my pmdd begins. I know this feeling will pass and I know that my increased lower back pain also makes other things less tolerable. 

While all of this inner struggle happens today, I will also get outside and appreciate the beautiful Autumn weather in the town I grew up in, spend time with my parents, and look forward to visiting with my younger sister in NYC tomorrow.

Did you experience bullying in adolescence? How does this image affect you, if at all? What is your reaction to what Feiberg wrote under the image? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

The Next Big Thing: American Apparel XL Model Search Over, Almost

The wait is over!  Well, sort of. We still don't know who the winner is in The Next Big Thing, but we know it's not Nancy Upton. She received the most votes and rightfully is the winner, yet here is the letter, in its entirety, she received from American Apparel:

Dear Nancy Upton,

My name is Iris Alonzo and I am a Creative Director at American Apparel. Along with four other women, I conceived of the Next BIG Thing campaign for American Apparel. Firstly, we are very sorry that we offended you. Our only motive was to discover and celebrate the many beautiful XL women around the globe who enjoy our brand, and to promote the recent size additions to our collection. Nothing more, nothing less. We would also like to assure you that no one is getting fired over your stunt, as you expressed concern about in a recent interview. We are fortunate to have a great boss who trusts and believes in our instincts and ideas, and we are still very excited about all of our Next BIG Things and looking forward to meeting our new XL brand ambassadors.

It's a shame that your project attempts to discredit the positive intentions of our challenge based on your personal distaste for our use of light-hearted language, and that "bootylicous" was too much for you to handle. While we may be a bit TOO inspired by Beyoncé, and do have a tendency to occasionally go pun-crazy, we try not to take ourselves too seriously around here. I wonder if you had taken just a moment to imagine that this campaign could actually be well intentioned, and that my team and I are not out to offend and insult women, would you have still behaved in the same way, mocking the confident and excited participants who put themselves out there? Maybe you'll find it interesting that in addition to simply responding to customer demand and feedback, when you're a vertically-integrated company, actual jobs are created from new size additions. In this case, for the XL women who will model them, industrial workers that make them, retail employees that sell them and beyond. That's the amazing reality of American Apparel's business.

Though I could spend hours responding to your accusations and assumptions, this isn't the appropriate forum for that, so I will only briefly address a few issues here. In regards to April Flores' "that's not our demographic" experience, I don't recall the name of the confused employee credited with saying that, but he or she was sadly uninformed, and our company certainly does not endorse their statement. For as long as I can remember, we have offered sizes up to 3XL in our basic styles, and as far as adding larger sizes to the rest of our line is concerned, if there is the demand and manufacturing power to support it, we're always game. There are thousands of brands in the market who have no intention of supporting natural - and completely normal - full-figured women, and American Apparel is making a conscious effort to change that, both with our models and our line. If every brand that tried to do this was met with such negative press, we may have to wait another decade for the mainstream to embrace something so simple.

In the past, American Apparel has been targeted for various reasons, many times by journalists who weren't willing to go the extra mile to even visit the factory or meet the people in charge. Dov is a great executive director and American Industrialist, but there are hundreds of other decision-makers in our company, over half of whom are women. I suppose you have read a few too many negative pieces about us that have helped to form your opinion of who we are and what we stand for, and perhaps this has clouded your ability to give us a chance. I get it. I read some of it too. As a creative who isn't always the most tactful and tends to stay away from the limelight, maybe I haven't spoken up as much as I should have over the past 8 years that I've worked at American Apparel. Perhaps I could have shed some light on some issues that have been left cloudy over the years. However, sensational media will always need something to latch on to and success, spandex and individuality (and mutton chops circa 2004) are certainly easy targets. And who knows - maybe the PR ups and downs are all part of our DNA as a company. What I do know is that after all the years I have been working for this company I can wholeheartedly say that American Apparel is an amazing and inspiring place to work. I can't speak for everyone, but I can represent of a ton of people I know when I say that we really like Dov and we passionately believe in his vision for a beautiful factory with sustainable practices. We are the largest sewing factory in North America, after all...10,000 jobs is nothing to sniff at. A lot of people would be very sad if this company wasn't around.

That said, we realize that we are in no way perfect and that we're still learning. We want to do better or differently in many areas, and we are actively working on them every day. You're literally witnessing a transparent, sincere, innovative, creative company go through puberty in the spotlight of modern media. It's not easy!

Oh - and regarding winning the contest, while you were clearly the popular choice, we have decided to award the prizes to other contestants that we feel truly exemplify the idea of beauty inside and out, and whom we will be proud to have representing our company.

Please feel free to contact me directly anytime. If you want to know the real scoop about our company before writing a story, I've got it (or if I don't, I can put you in touch with the person that does!).

Best of luck,

Iris Alonzo
Creative Director
American Apparel 

I don't know what's more disheartening about this letter, the fact that Iris defends the offensive and overused puns used in The Next Big Thing XL mode search, or that she implies that adding about twenty new pieces into the XL category somehow creates a plethora of jobs, one that should be noted: "actual jobs are created from new size additions. In this case, for the XL women who will model them, industrial workers that make them, retail employees that sell them and beyond. That's the amazing reality of American Apparel's business."  As creative director, I expect more.  She couldn't even acknowledge the important commentary that was being made through Upton's photographs entered, nor could she see that in no way would the diction and tone, apparently inspired by Beyonce, would ever be used if it wasn't an XL model search.  Can you imagine an ad reading: do you lack hips, breasts, and have an appetite for nothing more than cigarettes and coffee?  Do you like to be photographed looking vacant?  Well, you're in luck!  Get your tiny little twig body into our contest and prove that bony beanpoles are sexy too!  Ladies, we have puny pant sizes just for you!  And shirts that won't hide, but show off your emaciated and gaunt figure! No, you can't because it's extremely offensive and alludes to unhealthy lifestyle merely based on weight.  Now, I believe there is such a thing as too thin or too heavy for health reasons, but that's not what is being discussed right now.  This discussion is the amount of crap curvy, fat, plus-size women get for being an average sized woman, a little smaller, or a little larger then a size 12/14. 

After Alonzo goes on and on, certainly doing a great job kissing her boss' ass though--It's safe to say, her job at American Apparel may last another "amazing and inspiring" 8 years--she finally ends the letter with what seems like an afterthought which should be the bulk of why she responded to Upton in the first place with, "Oh - and regarding winning the contest, while you were clearly the popular choice, we have decided to award the prizes to other contestants that we feel truly exemplify the idea of beauty inside and out, and whom we will be proud to have representing our company."


In the (almost) end, I'm not surprised American Apparel didn't award Upton with the modeling contract. She had already made her stance clear when she wrote "I most certainly would not model for American Apparel, because (pretty obviously) I don't agree with their business practices. I also would not expect to be asked to do so, even if I receive a majority of the votes (something I never planned on)."  


What do you think about American Apparel's letter to Upton?  Do you agree or disagree with the importance of Nancy Upton's photographic commentary on women and weight?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

American Apparel XL Model Search Follow-Up

Remember the hideous and offensive language used in the American Apparel XL Campaign: The Next Big Thing, which made it nearly impossible to feel good, let alone applaud the addition to bigger options?  If you don't, you can read my first post about it here.  I posted a set of pictures on my tumblr, but I felt like this is noteworthy and deserved a full blog post!

Size 12--remember, the average size an American woman wears--Nancy Upton, has entered the contest, but not in the way most have.  Her photographs are a very necessary commentary on the on why the company chose such anti-curvy/fat/plus-size fatphobic language when searching for just that!  And she makes her feelings about the language as obvious as it can get.  You can see all of the photos on her tumblr here!  She is already in the number one spot for winning, but you can vote for her here and show your support and keep her in the number one spot!

One of the photos Nancy Upton used for the model search.

The first photo you will see of her on her tumblr!

 Vote for Nancy Upton!!

Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

American Apparel XL Campaign

Photo from Jezebel.com

American Apparel is looking for "The Next BIG Thing." I have mixed feelings about this curvy woman search.  On one hand, I think it's positive that bigger sizes are being offered, but on the other hand I can't help but think but the average size woman wears a size 12/14, so why are these sizes still considered plus size?  The company is only providing twenty one items available to the "bigger" sizes and four of them are unisex and the ad is full of awkward size references. The Jezebel article, American Apparel introduces Size XL, Holds Search for 'Booty-ful' Model, sums it up,

"Maybe we should be excited that another company is acknowledging the existence of (slightly) larger women, but carrying a freakin' 12 just seems long overdue. Plus, it isn't like American Apparel is offering all of its women's clothing in the larger size. There are only 21 items for women in the "XL & Larger" category online, and four of those are unisex. Even though American Apparel desperately needs customers, it still doesn't want to see its hipster getups on anyone who actually wears a "plus-size."

On a positive note, when looking through the submissions, you can see and hear how great the numbers of girls and women are who crave acknowledgment and are sick and tired of the images and messages still sent to starve to be a certain size, preferably one that is a single digit in size.  Health and beauty do not have one size, shape, or weight and it's important that this conversation is happening.

Photo From: thecuvyfashionista.mariedenee.com

I only wish that when I was a teenager, when the images and expectations of the messages that were being sent as to what my body should look like, and what size I should wear, and the small window of what was considered acceptable, I had access to or even knew of communities like fuckyeahchubbygirls or Body Love Wellness.  It could have prevented years of self-loathing, constant struggling, unrealistic image of my body, and obsessive relationship with food. When I look back at pictures from high school or even college, I think why did I think I was massively huge to the point of disgusting?  I was athletic and healthy, but the notion that wearing anything about a size 10 was appalling created such a warped view of myself.  Even though I think we have a long way to go, we have come a long way and I'm happy to know about these communities now, for myself, for my friends, and for all of the young women I will encounter who I can share this information with.

What do you think about this campaign?  What about the language used? Did you or do you struggle with body acceptance?  What are some positive sites or images you use as a reality check in this age of photoshop?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Shut Your Fat Mouth

 











Pun intended. I have just recently begun exploring more openly food/body image/body acceptance issues in my own life in an open and honest way and feel I am just barely sliding one foot through that door, but come to think about it, it's time to kick the door wide open.

I am so sick of living in a culture that accepts and idolizes women starving themselves and being skinny-equating thin with healthy-while mocking heavy and even healthy-for-your-height weights, perpetuating this unrealistic image and condoning fatphobia.  I am so tired of heavy, curvy, or one of my favorite adjectives, thick girls getting treated as if they are lazy, uneducated, or unhealthy while I watch friends waste away to skin and bones trying to adhere to some obscene and truly unhealthy weight, losing their hair and sometimes losing their periods, yet people telling them they look fabulous.  Living in a culture where we are continually bombarded by contradicting images; commercials of fast food, "junk" food, processed foods many are supposed to deem "bad" (not that I think processed food or fast food is particularly good for you, but that can be a whole other piece on it's own) and yet we should all have six-pack abs and aspire to look like Kate Moss.  We are continuously given reinforcements that if we do have more junk in the trunk/more cushion for the pushin' (whichever phrase you prefer) we should be striving to be thin, because then and only then we will be happy, content, healthy. Many celebrity women have reinforced this message: Kelly Osborne, Jennifer Hudson who is now the famous face of Weight Watchers, Kirstie Allie who has yo-yo'd for years (and publicly ridiculed for it), and I think the woman who has been one of the most vocal about her struggles with weight is Oprah.

But even Oprah with all of her openness hasn't expressed being in a place of acceptance.  The message is clear-it's a continuous struggle; she made it clear back in the eighties before she was the empire that she is today: "This is the battle of my life." I wish the article in Bitch magazine online went a bit more in- depth, but I appreciate the writer's point of view and for, "[expecting] at least one voice representing fat acceptance to be present during this final OWS episode on weight."

I don't know a single woman who hasn't or doesn't continue to struggle with her weight/body image, whether that means trying to lose or gain or simply maintain. I definitely have had and continue to have a love/hate relationship with my body.   And I don't remember the last time a group of women got together and discussed things they like about themselves. All of the energy I spend on swinging from accepting to loathing to feeling indifferent to wanting to be in a place of acceptance of where I am, but also working towards being in the place I want to be; and yes, that does include losing weight, but it does not include starving myself, bingeing and purging, working out 8 hours a day, or only eating like a rabbit. 

Several fellow Ithaca College alumni also have blogs (you can find them in my list of blogs to check out in the right-hand column Amy, Marissa, and Steff).  It was in a guest post on Steff's blog that introduced me to a woman Golda Poretsky, founder of Body Love Wellness, with a philosophy about healthy at every size.

Through a free phone session with Golda from that post, I have joined her 4 month program and am starting to find community with like-minded women. In the phone session, I mentioned this blog, and generously, Golda is offering the first 5 readers a FREE Body Love Breakthrough session.  This is your chance to talk directly with Golda about any struggles with body image and food and get solutions instead of staying stuck! To sign-up for this FREE opportunity, go to: http://www.bodylovewellness.com/shapedbymylife/! 

Rain and Bridesmaids (the movie)

It's been grey skies and raining off and on in Ithaca, NY for days, and it's not supposed to end for days to come. A friend I hadn't seen since the last time we went to see a girly movie back in August called and asked if I wanted to see a movie last night.  Other than supporting a movie, a comedy with mostly females, I wasn't particularly interested in seeing the movie she mentioned; but it had been more than six months since we saw each other so I just said yes. I had seen the poster and the movie trailer and really wanted to be into seeing it, but I wasn't. 


The opening scene in Bridesmaids gave me a false sense of hope; what woman hasn't experienced at best mediocre sex with a guy she isn't in a relationship with and for some reason continues to go back. Awkward moments are always funny, because it makes the characters human. Speaking of characters, I know that it's a comedy so the women are overtly stereotyped: the beautiful bitch (Helen played by Rose Byrne), the mousy innocent one (Becca played by Ellie Kemper), the crazed real mother (Rita played by Wendy McLendon-Covey), the heavy inappropriate wild one (Megan played by Melissa McCarthy); but with all of the stereotyping the bride (Lillian played by Maya Rudolph) was not a bridezilla and the best friend (Annie played by Kristin Wiig), though was of course a down-in-the-dumps single mid 30's woman who slept with the wrong guy while pushing away the nice one, she was jealous of the newer friendship between her best fried and bride-to-be, and the woman, Helen, who was married to her soon-to-be husband's boss, which isn't that far fetched. I think women can relate to the difficulty of a really close friendship with a woman being shifted by another woman coming into one of your lives. I have certainly experienced that myself, more than once. I caught myself laughing out loud when she was driving away in her car mocking Helen. 

Kristin Wiig, by far had the best performance and there were scenes that were pretty good, showing off her real skills as a comedian and actress; when she gets pulled over by the cop for the first time and again when she is trying to get his attention to help her find Lillian. On the plane and in my opinion, which is a pretty redundant thing to say since my entire blog is my opinion, by far the best scene was when Annie flips out at the bridal shower. It was the moment in plenty of other movies where you are so annoyed right along with the character you wish they would lose their shit, and she did!


So one of my biggest difficulties with this movie is the stereotype of the heavy woman being unattractive, over-the-top-inappropriate.  Doing work to try and be body positive and not feed into the continuous obsession with food, how we look, how much we weigh, and how we should define ourselves based on any/all of these, I was most disheartened at the laughter at her weight and the gasps and loud remarks from audience members of "gross."  This attitude was reaffirmed when I found this, "the other bridesmaids include a fat lady who was gross." Reading this article with the actress left me wondering what was she smoking when she said [she hopes the unconventional chick flick will broaden the kind of female roles that typically populate Hollywood comedies.]  “So often I watch a movie and I’m like, who are these women?” 

Ms. Magazine also had a great article about this movie making points I couldn't agree with more and was glad to see someone acknowledge the things that really stood out to me that detracted from the movie as a whole. "For such a smart movie, it was disappointing that Bridesmaids still went for the fat-chick-as-butt-of-the-joke trope. Melissa McCarthy’s Megan is predictably unfashionable, crude, unfeminine and sexually aggressive. It is clear that we are supposed to laugh at her, in part, because fatness is hilarious! She incorporates food in her sex play! Hee! What’s with all the self-esteem? Everybody knows fat chicks don’t have self-esteem. Funny! That said. McCarthy is comic gem, who infused the character with heart and depth.  Not surprisingly, the film was also largely whitewashed, despite having a biracial woman as one of the main characters. I found it odd that Rudolph’s character, who has a black father (Franklin Ajaye!), did not have any close black female friends or family. In this way, Bridesmaids stands as another example of how people of color can only exist in a narrative if they are deracinated and don’t disturb the whiteness."

I'm tired of settling! Well it's a step in the right direction, right? Well, yes and no. Yes, because it is smart and because it's female-centric, but for everything else, no. I have to say the best piece I read regarding this movie is this from Bitch Magazine. I appreciate getting two perspectives in one piece, and found I could find I could agree with both women at different times, but ultimately, I leaned more towards KJ: "Do I take thee, Bridesmaids, to be my beacon for funny women in film? No, I don't." I'd set this aside along with Sex and the City 2; ok it wasn't that bad. But I'd rather watch a girly movie like Legally Blonde that stereotypes and also works to break the stereotype at the same time. Besides, the weather is still grey and rainy and I'd rather rent a movie, get cozy in my bed and save more than half my money for something else.