December 25th

Over the years I had become more and more uncomfortable with saying "Merry Christmas" to people.  You never know if people will get offended because they don't celebrate Christmas or because I don't use a neutral phrase such as "Happy Holidays" and also because I didn't want people to make assumptions that I was celebrating as a Christian or that using that phrase meant I believe in a Catholic God.

Working with the public, it's always interesting to see how people react depending on what you say to them.  You get the people who after hearing Happy Holidays reply same to you and keep it moving, or the people who feel the need to boastfully express Merry Christmas! with the attached sentiment of screw all of this PC bullshit, I'm saying Merry Christmas whether you like it or not, which I find amusing during what is supposed to be a time of cheer. 

While reading the latest news articles I came across this article from CNN: Holidays, Minus God.  As someone who was raised Catholic, who doesn't believe in that version of God but does believe in some greater power of the universe, it was comforting to find others, agnostics and atheists, explaining how they explain their celebration of Christmas.  A few quotes that really stood out to me are:

"I prefer to celebrate by teaching my kids the wonders of nature; how to pay attention to the earth's cycles, to enjoy the smell of fresh rain and the sight of a forest covered in snow. To me, these are things that are tangible and real, but just as beautiful and humbling as faith is to believers." — Shannon Thomas, Illinois

"Holiday celebration does not require belief in order to feel love for one another. I can wish someone a merry Christmas, and it's just my way of injecting positive energy into that person's day." — John Douglass,Washington

"We exchange gifts, have elaborate meals, and spend time with our family and friends, many of whom are believers and know we are not. Sharing, giving, and loving are traits of humanity -- not divinity." — David Lilley,Texas

So whether it's Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas, during such difficult economic times, why not spend time with the people you love, have a delicious meal (and not obsess about what I'm eating), spent quality time together, exchange gifts that have some thought behind it, shop locally, support the economy of where we live, buy from artists or make something for someone, and find gratitude for life in general.

In these technologically connected times, we all seem to need to work a little harder to actually be connected with one another. This is the time of year to reflect on the year past, to spend time with people who matter, and look ahead to the year to come. Faith and hope are not things of religion, they are beliefs. During this hour, while the house is full of smells of the next course cooking, the presents have been unwrapped, friends and family members called, I find some quiet time to write this piece before watching one of the many regular Christmas movies: Elf!  because some humor always helps no matter what time of year!

How do you celebrate Christmas/the holidays? Do you have movies you watch regularly to celebrate? What are they? What is your favorite tradition? Comments below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

A Decade Later

My mother is ten years cancer free today. This is a piece I wrote and submitted in my portfolio for my grad school applications. I love you mama. This poem is for you. 

The Worm

I didn’t know your name then,

But your blue greys, my sedative—

Your breasts, my world,

What I came to know best in those early months—

You, my milk machine,

I ate,

Swallowing all of your

White promises—

Thick milk dripped,

Suckled—

Ripe apples

Oozing their sweetness—

Somewhere,

Sometime between then

And now,

A worm ate its way into you

Rotting your flesh—

I ached to clean up the mess

But this was out of

My hands, out of

Your hands,

Into the doctor’s hands:

They sliced you up and cut

Pieces of you completely out

As if you were their re-creation.

Now, a scar swings up your side

From beyond your bellybutton

Curving up the battlefield

Where they saved you

But left you mangled—

Staring at your delicate body,

I learned your name then,

And all the meaning behind it.

by: Laura A. Illiano

(High School Graduation, June 2001)

Any comments or questions can be sent to my email: shapedbymylife@gmail.com. Thanks.

February Funk

A lot has happened--when doesn't a lot happen?--in the world these past couple of weeks, but I am so exhausted and consumed with my own world, I don't even have the energy to write about any of it right now.  Another day, another post...

I feel like all I'm doing right now is waiting; waiting for academic institutions to let me know where I'm going to graduate school! Since moving back to Ithaca almost four years ago, this is the first time I'm legitimately wondering if I will still be here by the end of the summer.  I'm waiting to hear from the woman at DSS to find out if I qualify for food stamps, but receiving less than one hundred and fifty dollars a week from unemployment disqualified me from receiving temporary assistance with my rent, so I'm trying not to put too much faith in the system, because we all know how flawed the system is, some better and more intimately than others.

Friday was a breath of fresh air, literally.  I walked outside and took in the sunshine and vitamin D and breathed a bit easier with temperatures reaching almost sixty!  But the sunshine and the Spring-like weather couldn't keep me from my funk for very long.  February seems to be the time of year for many people I know, including fellow writing major IC alum Ashley who has written about it on her blog.  Her openness about it has helped me write this.

I don't think I'm going to magically make the funk disappear entirely; the biggest thing that I'm struggling with is sleep and my sleep schedule.  I had stopped drinking coffee for a year and starting drinking it again this past Fall.  I have made a decision to lay off the coffee and drink more tea and see if that helps. But...

 

Here are some things I have been doing to help with my funk:

*Stick to a workout routine

*Add spinning class to workout routine

*Practice yoga every day, even if it's only a few poses to help stretch. 

*Paint my nails regularly 

*Cook more meals at home

*Take time to meditate, get quiet with myself. 

*Find something to be grateful for every day. 

What are you grateful for today? Email me at shapedbymylife@gmail.com or comment below and I will compile a list and write about this again.