I'm Back!

Hello my lovely friends and followers. I'm back! While I have continued to post on the sister site SBML on Tumblr, I have not been writing regularly on here at all! Why, you ask? I went back to school, while working two jobs, while attempting to be present in my relationship(s), while continuing to work on myself, and snuggling with my beautiful pup who is going to be 1.5 years old at the end of the month. So, with a wonderfully full life, my commitment and ability to write on here regularly was obviously lacking. 

But I am recommitting and there will be some noticeable changes and not just to the look of the site, but particularly around the area of body acceptance and food. I am still a firm believer of body acceptance and have issues with the small "acceptable" category for women--aka what women are supposed to look like, unrealistic bodies portrayed via photoshop, and misconstrued ideas of "health." My own struggles with body image and making healthy choices continue and I will still post regarding these, but I will also add articles relating to fitness and the food industry. 

Frankly, I've felt like a body acceptance fraud. But recently, I have decided the time has come to really dig deep into some stuff I have been carrying around; lies I have been telling myself. I am also taking steps towards living the kind of life in regards to my body and my fitness that I continue to *think* about, yet struggle to know how do go about it without injuring myself, and without feeding into (ahem, excuse the pun) the notion that women who are not a size 2, or size 8, or even a 12 should eat less to lose weight. I also want to debunk the idea that there are only two eating disorders. There are more. One of these steps has been contacting a nutritionist/personal trainer to work with. Another, is to start eating a lot of organic food. 

No matter who we are, what successes or failures we've had, all humans have known struggle at one point or another. All of us have emotional work to do to recover from something and live more presently in our lives today. I came across this quote this morning and I knew I'd end this post with it: 

"If you want to succeed in your life, remember this phrase: 

That past does not equal the future. 

Because you failed yesterday; or all day today; 

or a moment ago; or for the last six months; the last sixteen years; 

or the last fifty years of life, doesn't mean anything... 

All that matters is: What are you going to do, right now?" 

— Anthony Robbins

Thanks to my family, friends, and followers for your ongoing support here and life at large. 

Fat Friday! (On Monday) Gabi Gregg

What is round on both sides and high in the middle?

OHIO!

Last week was the first week of training at my new job and Friday we were on the road to Ohio to visit my partner's family for his mother's birthday. So I'm giving you readers (there are still readers out there, right?) the Fat Friday post today!

Gabi Gregg is the author of a plus-size fashion blog Gabi Fresh and the feature in this post! 

She was mentioned in a previous piece Fat Fashion: A Continued Conversation.  

Gabi was recently named one of Glamour's 21 Most Amazing Young Women of 2011.  

You can read more about her experience and her outfit at this event on her blog. You can also find her on facebook. As a young, fat, and fabulous lady myself, I am happy to see a lovely lady such as Gabi get recognition. At my smallest and most fit, I wore a size 12, and I didn't have such sites for inspiration or solidarity when I was in my teens/early twenties and I am so glad that they exist now. On the days where I don't feel like I deserve to wear something beautiful or feel stunning I am reminded that is because the industry certainly makes women of average to plus size work even harder to find clothing that is stylish, affordable, and comfortable. 

Who do you turn to for fashion inspiration? Who do you admire, famous or not, for their fashion sense, or for their common sense? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Tumblr Tuesday! Pretty Plus Size

It's Tumblr Tuesday! This week's spotlight is Pretty Plus Size!

Here's the only picture that will upload for me featured on this blog! 

Check it out!

Do you have a tumblr account and want to be featured? Do you know of a tumblr account I should check out? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat Friday! Why Weight Doesn't Matter

It's Fat Friday! Here are quotes from Fat? Who Cares! Why Weight Doesn't Matter By Peter Jaret

“Overweight women who walked more than four hours a week had a significantly lower risk of heart disease than those who didn’t exercise. This says to me that the most important risk factor isn’t being fat; it’s being sedentary.”

“One important study, an analysis of more than 5,000 participants in a national government sample, showed that 35 percent of obese women don’t have the constellation of health problems typically linked to higher weight. Specifically, they showed no more than one sign of these issues: high blood pressure, high triglycerides, low HDL [“good”] cholesterol, elevated glucose levels, insulin resistance and systemic inflammation. And there are some health concerns, such as osteoporosis, that are much less common in people categorized as overweight or obese.”

“There’s something researchers call the “obesity paradox”—that people who are heavier tend to survive longer than thinner people with the same disease…Why isn’t entirely clear. But the findings call into question the widely held belief that being overweight or obese is always dangerous and suggest that it may be protective in some ways.”

“When researchers at the German Institute of Human Nutrition in Potsdam-Rehbrücke looked at more than 12,000 middle-aged men and women for a study published in 2005, they found that obese men and women whose weight fluctuated over a two-year period were four times as likely to develop hypertension as the obese people whose weight remained stable. An earlier Italian study reported that women who had lost weight at least five times in five years were more likely to have high blood pressure than those whose weight remained stable.”

“My colleagues and I did a study, reported in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association, that confirms the usefulness of this approach. We randomly divided 78 obese chronic dieters, all female, into two groups: One followed a conventional weight-loss diet; the other enrolled in the Health at Every Size [HAES] plan, which emphasizes eating in response to hunger cues. Both programs lasted six months, and subjects were evaluated two years after the study’s beginning. By six months, 42 percent of the conventional-diet-program participants had dropped out, but only 8 percent of the HAES members had departed. The dieters did lose weight in the first six months, but two years later they had, on average, regained it all. Women in the HAES group did not lose or gain weight; they stayed the same weight throughout the two years. By the end of the study period, the HAES women showed significant improvements in their LDL [“bad”] cholesterol and systolic [the top number] blood pressure; the dieting group ended up where it had started. In addition, 53 percent of those following a diet reported feeling like failures; none of the HAES women did. So I think our message needs to encourage people to become healthy rather than focus on weight loss.”

“We need to resist the notion that being thin is the path to happiness. It isn’t. Trying to become thin can make people very unhappy. We’ve become so obsessed with weight that it’s a major revolution for people to say, “Hey, I can choose to see myself as attractive.” We’d all be much happier if we honored size diversity and focused on healthy choices, letting our weight fall naturally where it may.”

Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Chubby Bunnies

It's Tumblr Tuesday!  Today I'm giving a shout-out to the wonderful blog Chubby Bunnies!  When you go to the homepage, it reads: 

"This is for the lovers of all the chubby bunnies out there. A place where we can feel safe and proud to show off our curves. If you have any problems with occasional nudity or scantily clad women, then this is not the site for you. This is a judgment free zone ♡"

Here are some photos that have been posted so far this month

Photo Source: red-rolls

Photo Source: Unknown, Myriam

Photo Source: Superbbw

Photo Source: fuckyeahchubbylingerie

Photo Source: Unknown

You can also find Chubby Bunnies on Facebook

Do you have a Tumblr account? Are you or do you love chubby bunnies? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat Friday: Tara Lynn, Whales, and Body Image

Tara Lynn, Photo Courtsey: Elle Magazine

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?!

This picture of french model Tara Lynn and message below in a post originated by Delphine Feiberg has been reblogged over and over again. I came across it through a friend on her facebook page. I love the body positive message. However, what's obnoxious is it's a picture of an average sized woman and yet the message is of acceptance. Maybe I'm more sensitive to the term "whale" since I remember in 5th grade being called this name repeatedly. As if that time in a young girl's life isn't awkward enough, to have the immaturity of young boys call you a "whale" because you have hips and breasts before many of the other girls certainly added to my dysmorphic view of my body. It was the beginning of a continuous battle of being able to see myself clearly. Lately, I have been able to embrace my body and all of it's rolls and curves--even being at the heaviest I've ever been--but today is not one of those days. Today I woke up not wanting to look in a mirror, not wanting to get dressed, not want to have to try and find something to wear that I feel good in. Today is one of those days that I wish the sixteen year old girl version of me had the community of body acceptance and was exposed to more images of healthy looking women. Today is one of those days that knowing the size of my pants and the number on the scale haunts me and I long for the body I had a decade ago; one that I didn't love then. These melancholic feelings come usually once a month, becoming louder when my pmdd begins. I know this feeling will pass and I know that my increased lower back pain also makes other things less tolerable. 

While all of this inner struggle happens today, I will also get outside and appreciate the beautiful Autumn weather in the town I grew up in, spend time with my parents, and look forward to visiting with my younger sister in NYC tomorrow.

Did you experience bullying in adolescence? How does this image affect you, if at all? What is your reaction to what Feiberg wrote under the image? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

SLUTwalk

Source: Tumblr

What is SLUTwalk and how did it come about?  On January 24, 2011 Constable Michael Sanguinetti spoke on crime prevention at a York University safety forum.  He said: "women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized." Co-founders Sonya Barnett and Heather Jarvis decided to use the word slut in their response. They observe that historically, "slut" has had negative connotations, and that their goal is to redeem the term.They write that women "are tired of being oppressed by slut-shaming; of being judged by our sexuality and feeling unsafe as a result." They continue: "Being in charge of our sexual lives should not mean that we are opening ourselves to an expectation of violence, regardless if we participate in sex for pleasure or work.

The first SLUTwalk in protest of victim-blaming was on April 3rd, 2011 in Toronto Canada.  There have been marches all over the world and still continue.

Photo source unknown

SLUTwalk NYC

What is Consent?

This weekend SLUTwalk Ithaca, NY took place Saturday afternoon.  A small crowd of about 200 people for what was expected to be over 1,000 marched and gathered in the commons.  Another reminder of how there is a serious need in this community for feminists--including the ones who don't identify as such, but believe in all the issues feminism stands for--to come together and create continuous dialogue about issues regarding discrimination, equality, and civil rights we still face today.  But for anyone to gather or discuss or stand up for something they believe in is definitely a step in the right direction!

Photo source unknown

Photo source unknown

Photo source unknown

Do you agree or disagree that victim-blaming needs to end?  If you could or wanted to, how would you create dialogue within your community?  Did you attend the SLUTwalk on Saturday in Ithaca or have you attended a SLUTwalk in your area?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

The Next Big Thing: American Apparel XL Model Search Over, Almost

The wait is over!  Well, sort of. We still don't know who the winner is in The Next Big Thing, but we know it's not Nancy Upton. She received the most votes and rightfully is the winner, yet here is the letter, in its entirety, she received from American Apparel:

Dear Nancy Upton,

My name is Iris Alonzo and I am a Creative Director at American Apparel. Along with four other women, I conceived of the Next BIG Thing campaign for American Apparel. Firstly, we are very sorry that we offended you. Our only motive was to discover and celebrate the many beautiful XL women around the globe who enjoy our brand, and to promote the recent size additions to our collection. Nothing more, nothing less. We would also like to assure you that no one is getting fired over your stunt, as you expressed concern about in a recent interview. We are fortunate to have a great boss who trusts and believes in our instincts and ideas, and we are still very excited about all of our Next BIG Things and looking forward to meeting our new XL brand ambassadors.

It's a shame that your project attempts to discredit the positive intentions of our challenge based on your personal distaste for our use of light-hearted language, and that "bootylicous" was too much for you to handle. While we may be a bit TOO inspired by Beyoncé, and do have a tendency to occasionally go pun-crazy, we try not to take ourselves too seriously around here. I wonder if you had taken just a moment to imagine that this campaign could actually be well intentioned, and that my team and I are not out to offend and insult women, would you have still behaved in the same way, mocking the confident and excited participants who put themselves out there? Maybe you'll find it interesting that in addition to simply responding to customer demand and feedback, when you're a vertically-integrated company, actual jobs are created from new size additions. In this case, for the XL women who will model them, industrial workers that make them, retail employees that sell them and beyond. That's the amazing reality of American Apparel's business.

Though I could spend hours responding to your accusations and assumptions, this isn't the appropriate forum for that, so I will only briefly address a few issues here. In regards to April Flores' "that's not our demographic" experience, I don't recall the name of the confused employee credited with saying that, but he or she was sadly uninformed, and our company certainly does not endorse their statement. For as long as I can remember, we have offered sizes up to 3XL in our basic styles, and as far as adding larger sizes to the rest of our line is concerned, if there is the demand and manufacturing power to support it, we're always game. There are thousands of brands in the market who have no intention of supporting natural - and completely normal - full-figured women, and American Apparel is making a conscious effort to change that, both with our models and our line. If every brand that tried to do this was met with such negative press, we may have to wait another decade for the mainstream to embrace something so simple.

In the past, American Apparel has been targeted for various reasons, many times by journalists who weren't willing to go the extra mile to even visit the factory or meet the people in charge. Dov is a great executive director and American Industrialist, but there are hundreds of other decision-makers in our company, over half of whom are women. I suppose you have read a few too many negative pieces about us that have helped to form your opinion of who we are and what we stand for, and perhaps this has clouded your ability to give us a chance. I get it. I read some of it too. As a creative who isn't always the most tactful and tends to stay away from the limelight, maybe I haven't spoken up as much as I should have over the past 8 years that I've worked at American Apparel. Perhaps I could have shed some light on some issues that have been left cloudy over the years. However, sensational media will always need something to latch on to and success, spandex and individuality (and mutton chops circa 2004) are certainly easy targets. And who knows - maybe the PR ups and downs are all part of our DNA as a company. What I do know is that after all the years I have been working for this company I can wholeheartedly say that American Apparel is an amazing and inspiring place to work. I can't speak for everyone, but I can represent of a ton of people I know when I say that we really like Dov and we passionately believe in his vision for a beautiful factory with sustainable practices. We are the largest sewing factory in North America, after all...10,000 jobs is nothing to sniff at. A lot of people would be very sad if this company wasn't around.

That said, we realize that we are in no way perfect and that we're still learning. We want to do better or differently in many areas, and we are actively working on them every day. You're literally witnessing a transparent, sincere, innovative, creative company go through puberty in the spotlight of modern media. It's not easy!

Oh - and regarding winning the contest, while you were clearly the popular choice, we have decided to award the prizes to other contestants that we feel truly exemplify the idea of beauty inside and out, and whom we will be proud to have representing our company.

Please feel free to contact me directly anytime. If you want to know the real scoop about our company before writing a story, I've got it (or if I don't, I can put you in touch with the person that does!).

Best of luck,

Iris Alonzo
Creative Director
American Apparel 

I don't know what's more disheartening about this letter, the fact that Iris defends the offensive and overused puns used in The Next Big Thing XL mode search, or that she implies that adding about twenty new pieces into the XL category somehow creates a plethora of jobs, one that should be noted: "actual jobs are created from new size additions. In this case, for the XL women who will model them, industrial workers that make them, retail employees that sell them and beyond. That's the amazing reality of American Apparel's business."  As creative director, I expect more.  She couldn't even acknowledge the important commentary that was being made through Upton's photographs entered, nor could she see that in no way would the diction and tone, apparently inspired by Beyonce, would ever be used if it wasn't an XL model search.  Can you imagine an ad reading: do you lack hips, breasts, and have an appetite for nothing more than cigarettes and coffee?  Do you like to be photographed looking vacant?  Well, you're in luck!  Get your tiny little twig body into our contest and prove that bony beanpoles are sexy too!  Ladies, we have puny pant sizes just for you!  And shirts that won't hide, but show off your emaciated and gaunt figure! No, you can't because it's extremely offensive and alludes to unhealthy lifestyle merely based on weight.  Now, I believe there is such a thing as too thin or too heavy for health reasons, but that's not what is being discussed right now.  This discussion is the amount of crap curvy, fat, plus-size women get for being an average sized woman, a little smaller, or a little larger then a size 12/14. 

After Alonzo goes on and on, certainly doing a great job kissing her boss' ass though--It's safe to say, her job at American Apparel may last another "amazing and inspiring" 8 years--she finally ends the letter with what seems like an afterthought which should be the bulk of why she responded to Upton in the first place with, "Oh - and regarding winning the contest, while you were clearly the popular choice, we have decided to award the prizes to other contestants that we feel truly exemplify the idea of beauty inside and out, and whom we will be proud to have representing our company."


In the (almost) end, I'm not surprised American Apparel didn't award Upton with the modeling contract. She had already made her stance clear when she wrote "I most certainly would not model for American Apparel, because (pretty obviously) I don't agree with their business practices. I also would not expect to be asked to do so, even if I receive a majority of the votes (something I never planned on)."  


What do you think about American Apparel's letter to Upton?  Do you agree or disagree with the importance of Nancy Upton's photographic commentary on women and weight?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

American Apparel XL Model Search Follow-Up

Remember the hideous and offensive language used in the American Apparel XL Campaign: The Next Big Thing, which made it nearly impossible to feel good, let alone applaud the addition to bigger options?  If you don't, you can read my first post about it here.  I posted a set of pictures on my tumblr, but I felt like this is noteworthy and deserved a full blog post!

Size 12--remember, the average size an American woman wears--Nancy Upton, has entered the contest, but not in the way most have.  Her photographs are a very necessary commentary on the on why the company chose such anti-curvy/fat/plus-size fatphobic language when searching for just that!  And she makes her feelings about the language as obvious as it can get.  You can see all of the photos on her tumblr here!  She is already in the number one spot for winning, but you can vote for her here and show your support and keep her in the number one spot!

One of the photos Nancy Upton used for the model search.

The first photo you will see of her on her tumblr!

 Vote for Nancy Upton!!

Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat Fashion: A Continued Conversation

In my post last week, Fierce Fat Feminism: Language Around Weight, I referred to a TeenVogue article, Body Language: Blogger Rachel Adams on the label "plus-size."  I wanted to acknowledge the amazing women who you may have missed since the only mention of them was a link on the bottom of the page.

You can read detailed descriptions about them here.
You can also check out my tumblr page for images and also links to sites for plus-size friendly fashion.

Ragini Nag Rao, curiousfancy.com

Gabi Gregg, gabifresh.com

Amanda Johnson, candimandi.typepad.com

Nicolette Mason, nicolettemason.blogspot.com

Jaimielee Velasquez, hippopotamuslee.blogspot.com

Nadia Aboulhosn, nadiaaboulhosn.blogspot.com

Georgina Doull, cupcakesclothes.blogspot.com

Franceta Johnson, Franticdreams.com

Sakina Benachich, saksinthecity.blogspot.com

You can find more fat fashion and body positive blogs of women who are not a size 0 or even a size 10 at One Plus-Size Fashion Resource

Young Fat and Fabulous

Fatshionable

Are you plus-size/fat/big/curvy/voluptuous and love fashion? Or are you not plus-size, love fashion, and believe all women deserve a wardrobe that is fun, eclectic, and in style? Where do you shop? Do you have a favorite store(s), online or otherwise? What is the newest edition to your closet? See anything you like? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

No Cost Birth Control Approved

A positive post for women's health! I know, if you've been keeping informed on all of the different ways women's health has been threatened, it's a pleasant surprise to read the new guidelines being put into effect that support women's health!

First, a recap of this year so far:
H.R. 3
In January of this year, House Republicans introduced their first piece of anti-abortion legislation, H.R. 3, the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act”, aimed at eliminating insurance coverage for abortion. Essentially the bill would prevent women from purchasing insurance covering abortion, even with their own money, through a series of tax penalties and the elimination of tax breaks for small businesses providing certain insurance options. The bill would also deny women access to abortions even in life threatening situations. 


H.R. 358
H.R. 358, the “Protect Life Act,” would “prohibit federal funding for abortions under the Affordable Care Act and ‘prevent funding from being withheld from institutions that refuse to provide abortions’” according to Think Progress.

Redefining Rape
As it stands, federal funding for abortion is already severely limited to cases of incest, rape or cases where the mother’s life is at risk. The H.R. 3 bill originally included language that would further limit these already severe restrictions to cases of “forcible rape”. The language is vague enough to exclude rape involving alcohol or date rape drugs and statutory rape from being counted as exceptions. As MoveOn.Org stated in a petition against the language in the bill, “As far too many women know, bruises and broken bones do not define rape - a lack of consent does.” The redefinition of rape provision was forced out of H.R.3 by massive public protest that included petitions and a public campaign by progressive groups, commentators and columnists. House Republicans led by Chris Brown and John Boehner were forced to back down and remove the language from the bill.

Eliminating Title X Family Planning
Unfortunately the onslaught didn’t stop there. New budget proposals presented by Congressional Republicans would eliminate funding for Title X, the 40 year-old program that funds family planning services, excluding abortion. This is the only federal funding that goes exclusively to family planning. The proposed cuts would mean denying millions of low-income people across the country access to contraception, STI testing, annual exams and life saving cancer screenings. Separate legislation introduced by Republican Representative Mike Pence would eliminate any Title X funding from going to abortion providers such as Planned Parenthood. Nancy Keenan of NARAL Pro-Choice America, said of the proposal that, “While these politicians attack abortion coverage from every angle, they now want to deny funding for birth control, even though that’s the best way to prevent unintended pregnancy. Americans will not stand for this blatant hypocrisy.” 

Yesterday, August 1st, 2011 
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has new guidelines requiring health insurance plans beginning on or after August 1, 2012 to cover birth control, among other preventive services. The guidelines are a part of the Affordable Care Act, which was signed into law by President Obama on March 23, 2010. The act aims to make prevention affordable and accessible for all Americans by requiring health plans to cover recommended preventive services without cost sharing.(View the full list on the Department of Health and Human Services website.)

Even though not everyone supports this, like anti-choice groups and religious groups that are so close-minded and have tunnel vision they can only view the world from their narrow point-of-view, not seeing the greater good, there are many great articles, including Bust, Ms., and CNN.  It gives me a sliver of hope that people have not given up and won't just lie down and not stand up for their rights. All is not lost.

"Today is a historic victory for women's health and women across the country," said Cecile Richards, president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America in a press release. "Covering birth control without co-pays is one of the most important steps we can take to prevent unintended pregnancy and keep women and children healthy."

Shut Your Fat Mouth 2

There is so much information about food--what are considered good and bad foods, whether to eat organic, local, vegetarian, vegan, high protein, low protein, low carb, no carb, low fat, no fat--the list goes on and on and even though you can't swallow anything whole, sometimes, more often than not, it's unnerving to know where to take a bite and how big it should be.

Along with the overwhelming amount of (mis)information about food, there is also the onslaught of weight-loss tactics, because, god forbid we are not obsessed and unsatisfied with our weight. Obesity epidemic sounds so alarming, the media has become very good at sensationalizing any and everything, especially when it comes to food and weight.  I was compelled to write this piece after waking up and reading this article from The New York Times. Also untrue, Dr. Mozaffarian said, is the food industry’s claim that there’s no such thing as a bad food.  "There are good foods and bad foods, and the advice should be to eat the good foods more and the bad foods less,” he said. “The notion that it’s O.K. to eat everything in moderation is just an excuse to eat whatever you want.”

And why not eat what you want?

One major issue I have is the fact that eating whatever you want is written negatively; the insinuation being that if you do not fit the acceptable mold and are considered overweight or even obese, that means you only eat unhealthy, processed, high in fat foods.  It gives a false notion that health has only one particular look, which in turn affects how we interact with people who don't fit this acceptable body image.  The assumption that if you are small or thin automatically means you're healthy is condescending and not true. 

This obsession with somehow being able to obtain the "perfect" ie, unrealistic idealized body has severely altered how we function from day to day, creating serious problems with our relationship with food; detracting from the real food issues, like what is being done to our foods before it makes it to the market shelves, how many chemicals are we unknowingly digesting, what are the animals being fed before slaughter, etc...

In an earlier blog Shut Your Fat Mouth, I mentioned joining Golda, founder of Body Love Wellness, and am participating in a four month long group.  One of the first things I started thinking about through a session, was how often do women get together and talk about things they like about themselves?  An assignment to write TEN things I like about my body had me at a loss completely only half of the list the first few times I tried to write it.  I am so used to constantly criticizing and scrutinizing every inch of myself, that the notion of celebrating parts of myself, especially physically, seemed foreign to me.  Ever since I was a teenager, being unsatisfied thus always striving to lose weight, whether it be five or fifty pounds, having body acceptance and thinking positively about how I look grew more and more distant.  This is part of my process trying to reclaim my body as my own.  This is not an easy task due to the continued lack of respect for anyone who is considered "plus-size" and I know many women who fall under this category, as well as "normal weight" women, and "under weight" women, who struggle with body acceptance.

After several attempts and about a month plus of time, here is my list:


1. I have full lips

(From riotsnotdiets.com)

2. My eyelashes are naturally really long and curled. I've never had to use an eyelash curler, and always get complimented on them. (So, of course I love mascara!)
3. I am coming to love my fine hair that is naturally wavy so it can be worn straight (as long as it's not humid!) or wavy or curly.
4. I have nice fingernails that I love to paint different colors.
5. My skin takes well to ink and I love body modifications like piercings and tattoos and sport them proudly.
6. I have a big butt (no matter what size I wear) and I love it.
7. I've never wanted a nose job. It suits my fact quite nice.
8. I have straight teeth and have never had braces or a retainer!
9. My senses are great and am learning to listen to my internal intuition concerning various aspects of my life.
10. I love my cleavage! I love my boobs, even though at times I get scared I will get cancer like my mother, or my back hurts because they are large and heavy to constantly carry, but babies fall asleep in my arms because I've got the pillows ;o)

Tamara de Lempicka. (1898 -1980)

Here are a few great websites and blogs: http://riotsnotdiets.com/, http://fuckyeahchubbygirls.tumblr.com/, http://redefiningbodyimage.tumblr.com/, http://adipositivity.com/.  Personally, I'm not a fan of the term fat-positive because the word fat is heavy with negative connotations, and I believe creating a culture and language where no woman is excluded, that it is not only "over-weight" women who struggle to accept their bodies, that it is all women who are bombarded with the same images, where a woman who weighs 120 lbs, 180 lbs, 250 lbs can have the same negative thoughts and behaviors concerning her body.  I have never been one of those "under-weight" women--I can swim a mile plus, bike 40 miles plus, lift weights, run on an elliptical for an hour + and do yoga--so I tend to speak from the curvy, voluptuous, junk-in-the-trunk side of things.

"You are not a body, but a heart, a mind, a soul. These are yours and no one can take them from you." ~Kathryn Harrison

Shut Your Fat Mouth

 











Pun intended. I have just recently begun exploring more openly food/body image/body acceptance issues in my own life in an open and honest way and feel I am just barely sliding one foot through that door, but come to think about it, it's time to kick the door wide open.

I am so sick of living in a culture that accepts and idolizes women starving themselves and being skinny-equating thin with healthy-while mocking heavy and even healthy-for-your-height weights, perpetuating this unrealistic image and condoning fatphobia.  I am so tired of heavy, curvy, or one of my favorite adjectives, thick girls getting treated as if they are lazy, uneducated, or unhealthy while I watch friends waste away to skin and bones trying to adhere to some obscene and truly unhealthy weight, losing their hair and sometimes losing their periods, yet people telling them they look fabulous.  Living in a culture where we are continually bombarded by contradicting images; commercials of fast food, "junk" food, processed foods many are supposed to deem "bad" (not that I think processed food or fast food is particularly good for you, but that can be a whole other piece on it's own) and yet we should all have six-pack abs and aspire to look like Kate Moss.  We are continuously given reinforcements that if we do have more junk in the trunk/more cushion for the pushin' (whichever phrase you prefer) we should be striving to be thin, because then and only then we will be happy, content, healthy. Many celebrity women have reinforced this message: Kelly Osborne, Jennifer Hudson who is now the famous face of Weight Watchers, Kirstie Allie who has yo-yo'd for years (and publicly ridiculed for it), and I think the woman who has been one of the most vocal about her struggles with weight is Oprah.

But even Oprah with all of her openness hasn't expressed being in a place of acceptance.  The message is clear-it's a continuous struggle; she made it clear back in the eighties before she was the empire that she is today: "This is the battle of my life." I wish the article in Bitch magazine online went a bit more in- depth, but I appreciate the writer's point of view and for, "[expecting] at least one voice representing fat acceptance to be present during this final OWS episode on weight."

I don't know a single woman who hasn't or doesn't continue to struggle with her weight/body image, whether that means trying to lose or gain or simply maintain. I definitely have had and continue to have a love/hate relationship with my body.   And I don't remember the last time a group of women got together and discussed things they like about themselves. All of the energy I spend on swinging from accepting to loathing to feeling indifferent to wanting to be in a place of acceptance of where I am, but also working towards being in the place I want to be; and yes, that does include losing weight, but it does not include starving myself, bingeing and purging, working out 8 hours a day, or only eating like a rabbit. 

Several fellow Ithaca College alumni also have blogs (you can find them in my list of blogs to check out in the right-hand column Amy, Marissa, and Steff).  It was in a guest post on Steff's blog that introduced me to a woman Golda Poretsky, founder of Body Love Wellness, with a philosophy about healthy at every size.

Through a free phone session with Golda from that post, I have joined her 4 month program and am starting to find community with like-minded women. In the phone session, I mentioned this blog, and generously, Golda is offering the first 5 readers a FREE Body Love Breakthrough session.  This is your chance to talk directly with Golda about any struggles with body image and food and get solutions instead of staying stuck! To sign-up for this FREE opportunity, go to: http://www.bodylovewellness.com/shapedbymylife/!