Just One Example of Body Shaming

This is the kind of bullshit body shaming that is so rife in our culture, people don't even realize they are doing it half the time. Plenty of things can contribute to people, women in particular, being "huge," whatever that means. To some people a girl's thighs touching means she is huge. To others it's because she has a belly. The list goes on and on. Not to mention the alluded message that ALL people who are HUGE eat themselves there; disregarding any other issue that might exist, or the fact that people only seem to be concerned with people's appearance and mask that with FAKE concerns about health. Funny, because when a skinny woman eats unhealthy food, or a lot of food, people are impressed. But see a woman who may be overweight by whatever standard you personally are coming from judgment and if she grabs for anything other than a carrot *gasp* what IS she thinking?! Sorry, not sorry. Fuck off with this body shaming bullshit, mind your own business, and stop commenting on how women look. There is so much more to women then how they look. Ever wonder why this is STILL the major focus when discussing women? 

Melissa McCarthy, Photoshop, and the Media's Message

It's rare when I don't come across at least one article that I find, if not 10, I want to comment on because I'm so tired of the unhealthy messages perpetuated by advertising. Now, to blame advertising entirely is to give it far more credit then it deserves and ignore the larger issue of patriarchy and how keeping women preoccupied with how they look, attempting to attain bodies not everyone can posses, is a major tool to continue the dichotomy between acceptable and not, beautiful and not, skinny and not; yet, the message of health gets thrown around often and it's not exactly accurate when used. Over concern of someone's health is displayed with overweight people and the epidemic of obesity. Yet, the truth of the matter is, that not all fat people are abundantly, if at all, unhealthy. Brace yourself for this one: not all fat people want to be skinny. Say what?! No, it's true. Let's not misconstrue the message though. Do I think skinny people want to be fat? No. But can we please STOP associating fat with being terrible, lazy, ugly, and unhealthy; it's as if to say that all skinny people are (healthy), which is a load of bullshit.

So what about Melissa McCarthy? The new movie she is in called The Heat has raised some serious photoshop choices that are impossible to ignore. The buzzfeed article displays as much confusion and without saying much, it says it all.

Buzzfeed Image

Buzzfeed Image

It's safe to say that more then a few "touch-ups" were done. Why is this still acceptable when so many find fault with it? Why are we perpetually shown images that we (women) should easily be able to replicate on our own, oh, and in five minutes? At the bottom of the article was this video:

Which made me think about this TEDtalk video of Golda Poretsky, a body acceptance and health at every size activist.

Personally, I have swung from both extremes of disordered eating and the thing that stands out in Golda's talk, is the scale dependency self-esteem is not a healthy way to gage one's worth. I also don't believe weight loss "doesn't work." Dieting doesn't work; been there, failed that. What's hilarious in the not-so-funny-but-ironic-kind-of-way is when she mentions the four healthy habits people should follow, and no matter what one's weight is, life expectancy is the same. The four healthy habits: don't smoke, drink little or not at all, eat 4-5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day, and get exercise of minimum 15 minutes a day. Yet, overconsumption of alcohol is glorified, commercials for prepackaged, processed, quick and easy food is wedged in between the commercials for makeup, hair products, weight loss products, etc. Do you know how many people suck down a cigarette before or after the gym? Plenty. But the message continues to be: there is a quick fix for your "problem." How you look is a problem, how you eat, what you eat, when you eat, how much you weigh, how often you exercise, did I mention how you look is a problem, and while smoking is becoming less publicized, but alcohol isn't going anywhere. 

The truth is, there's no quick fix. You know this is when someone would obnoxiously say, "They say anything worth having doesn't come easy," or some equally totally annoying cliche. But, at the end of the day, it's kind of true. So while I continue to learn how to forgive myself for past mistakes or choices, I also try to live in a place of compassion with where I am, and a willingness to start making better choices, just for today. 

 

I'm Back!

Hello my lovely friends and followers. I'm back! While I have continued to post on the sister site SBML on Tumblr, I have not been writing regularly on here at all! Why, you ask? I went back to school, while working two jobs, while attempting to be present in my relationship(s), while continuing to work on myself, and snuggling with my beautiful pup who is going to be 1.5 years old at the end of the month. So, with a wonderfully full life, my commitment and ability to write on here regularly was obviously lacking. 

But I am recommitting and there will be some noticeable changes and not just to the look of the site, but particularly around the area of body acceptance and food. I am still a firm believer of body acceptance and have issues with the small "acceptable" category for women--aka what women are supposed to look like, unrealistic bodies portrayed via photoshop, and misconstrued ideas of "health." My own struggles with body image and making healthy choices continue and I will still post regarding these, but I will also add articles relating to fitness and the food industry. 

Frankly, I've felt like a body acceptance fraud. But recently, I have decided the time has come to really dig deep into some stuff I have been carrying around; lies I have been telling myself. I am also taking steps towards living the kind of life in regards to my body and my fitness that I continue to *think* about, yet struggle to know how do go about it without injuring myself, and without feeding into (ahem, excuse the pun) the notion that women who are not a size 2, or size 8, or even a 12 should eat less to lose weight. I also want to debunk the idea that there are only two eating disorders. There are more. One of these steps has been contacting a nutritionist/personal trainer to work with. Another, is to start eating a lot of organic food. 

No matter who we are, what successes or failures we've had, all humans have known struggle at one point or another. All of us have emotional work to do to recover from something and live more presently in our lives today. I came across this quote this morning and I knew I'd end this post with it: 

"If you want to succeed in your life, remember this phrase: 

That past does not equal the future. 

Because you failed yesterday; or all day today; 

or a moment ago; or for the last six months; the last sixteen years; 

or the last fifty years of life, doesn't mean anything... 

All that matters is: What are you going to do, right now?" 

— Anthony Robbins

Thanks to my family, friends, and followers for your ongoing support here and life at large. 

Bullying the Bus Monitor

First wow, just wow. Also, kids making fun of fat people is nothing new, however with the new technology now we all get the front row seat of watching an elderly woman get teased in a disgusting way by a group of boys on a bus she is supposed to be monitoring.  There are several things that came up for me while watching most of this video, because honestly, I couldn't waste 10 minutes of my life watching a group of bratty and ignorant boys lacking compassion, continually bully this woman while she sat there and did nothing. 

First of all, I would be so ashamed of my child if I found out they were treating another human being like this, child or adult, does not deserve to be treated like this. When will people learn that bullying happens everywhere, to many, of all ages and sizes.  I think about how a child learns to act this way. Growing up in a house where bullying and teasing is acceptable behavior, where they themselves are teased and look for someone who they can emotional beat down to feel a false sense of superiority, and also mob mentality; get a group of people together with insecurities and they feed off each other becoming repetitive and more obnoxious and aggressive. "Dumb-ass, fat-ass." "Maybe she is an elephant." "She's gonna pick out which kid she's gonna rape next." "Karen wants herpes." "Fucking hearing aid." "What's your address so I can piss all over your door." "I'll fucking take a crap in your mouth."

Secondly, if this woman is the monitor of the bus, why are these kids aggressively berating her with her sitting and doing nothing?! People can not be hired for jobs where they are put in a position to oversee and are in charge of keeping an environment safe and calm, especially concerning children, when they don't have the ability to maintain some level of authority. The Jezebel article ends with addressing this very issue with: "What should an adult do in a situation like this? Yell? Scream? Issue threats? Klein didn't scold, reprimand or exert any authority over the kids. Was it the right thing to do, or did it exacerbate the problem? It certainly seems like the boys got into a very aggressive mood, trying to provoke and hurt her, and Klein's passive defense ended up playing right into the predator/prey dynamic. She is absolutely not to blame for the incident, but while watching, I was trying to imagine what, if anything, could have been done to diffuse the nasty environment in which kids were clearly testing — and pushing — limits."

Um, I know I'm not the only one who grew up, bickering with my sister in the backseat of the car and being told assertively, "Don't make me pull this car over!" I mean, it's not that complicated, right? She's the adult, the monitor no less! Go tell the bus driver to pull the bus over. There needs to be some sort of procedure in place so children are held accountable for their actions, and so there is no hesitation to try to teach children who are clearly lacking on so many levels of social skills and just common decency that this is not acceptable behavior.

To anyone reading this who has been bullied or is being bullied, I'm sorry. Share your story with someone, our experiences help us connect with other people who have or are going through something similar.  To anyone who is bullying, which comes in so many forms, I'd like to leave this last image for you.

Comments welcome below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat Friday! (On Monday) Gabi Gregg

What is round on both sides and high in the middle?

OHIO!

Last week was the first week of training at my new job and Friday we were on the road to Ohio to visit my partner's family for his mother's birthday. So I'm giving you readers (there are still readers out there, right?) the Fat Friday post today!

Gabi Gregg is the author of a plus-size fashion blog Gabi Fresh and the feature in this post! 

She was mentioned in a previous piece Fat Fashion: A Continued Conversation.  

Gabi was recently named one of Glamour's 21 Most Amazing Young Women of 2011.  

You can read more about her experience and her outfit at this event on her blog. You can also find her on facebook. As a young, fat, and fabulous lady myself, I am happy to see a lovely lady such as Gabi get recognition. At my smallest and most fit, I wore a size 12, and I didn't have such sites for inspiration or solidarity when I was in my teens/early twenties and I am so glad that they exist now. On the days where I don't feel like I deserve to wear something beautiful or feel stunning I am reminded that is because the industry certainly makes women of average to plus size work even harder to find clothing that is stylish, affordable, and comfortable. 

Who do you turn to for fashion inspiration? Who do you admire, famous or not, for their fashion sense, or for their common sense? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Tumblr Tuesday! Pretty Plus Size

It's Tumblr Tuesday! This week's spotlight is Pretty Plus Size!

Here's the only picture that will upload for me featured on this blog! 

Check it out!

Do you have a tumblr account and want to be featured? Do you know of a tumblr account I should check out? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat People Can't Be Trusted

Did you suffer from a case of the Mondays?  Not today!  I woke up ready for this week to start.  I started training at my new job today. After being out of work for ten months I am grateful to have a job again and humbled to be making less than what I made when I was 18 years old. But today is not one of those days where the fact that it's getting dark out earlier (because of daylight savings) or that the soon-to-be amount of my paychecks will not reach a certain number will get in my way; I have gratitude.

Are you dying to know what my new job is?! I know you are, so I will end the suspense now and tell you it's at the gym! The woman who is training me seems really nice and it will be a big change from being the only person on at the front desk at the bookstore; there are many who work at the gym.  The crew seems pretty sarcastic too, which fits my personality nicely. What's great too is because I have worked with some of the trainers I don't feel completely out of place because there are familiar faces. Though it is strange being on the other side of the front desk to a facility I have used for years. But I believe it will give me some interesting observations to write about. It makes me laugh that through my lifetime of body image issues and just recently working towards any level of self-acceptance, that I get a job at a gym at my heaviest and yet feel less insecure about my body in general than I have in the past decade.

Life just continues to be paradoxical and amusing and surprising. Here is a video I also re-blogged on my tumblr today, but thought it would end this post nicely.

Did you suffer from a case of the Mondays? Are you struggling to find a job? Do you identify with the struggle for self acceptance or issues with body image? Have you held a job that made you feel more or less insecure about how you look? Tell me something or ask by commenting below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat Friday! Why Weight Doesn't Matter

It's Fat Friday! Here are quotes from Fat? Who Cares! Why Weight Doesn't Matter By Peter Jaret

“Overweight women who walked more than four hours a week had a significantly lower risk of heart disease than those who didn’t exercise. This says to me that the most important risk factor isn’t being fat; it’s being sedentary.”

“One important study, an analysis of more than 5,000 participants in a national government sample, showed that 35 percent of obese women don’t have the constellation of health problems typically linked to higher weight. Specifically, they showed no more than one sign of these issues: high blood pressure, high triglycerides, low HDL [“good”] cholesterol, elevated glucose levels, insulin resistance and systemic inflammation. And there are some health concerns, such as osteoporosis, that are much less common in people categorized as overweight or obese.”

“There’s something researchers call the “obesity paradox”—that people who are heavier tend to survive longer than thinner people with the same disease…Why isn’t entirely clear. But the findings call into question the widely held belief that being overweight or obese is always dangerous and suggest that it may be protective in some ways.”

“When researchers at the German Institute of Human Nutrition in Potsdam-Rehbrücke looked at more than 12,000 middle-aged men and women for a study published in 2005, they found that obese men and women whose weight fluctuated over a two-year period were four times as likely to develop hypertension as the obese people whose weight remained stable. An earlier Italian study reported that women who had lost weight at least five times in five years were more likely to have high blood pressure than those whose weight remained stable.”

“My colleagues and I did a study, reported in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association, that confirms the usefulness of this approach. We randomly divided 78 obese chronic dieters, all female, into two groups: One followed a conventional weight-loss diet; the other enrolled in the Health at Every Size [HAES] plan, which emphasizes eating in response to hunger cues. Both programs lasted six months, and subjects were evaluated two years after the study’s beginning. By six months, 42 percent of the conventional-diet-program participants had dropped out, but only 8 percent of the HAES members had departed. The dieters did lose weight in the first six months, but two years later they had, on average, regained it all. Women in the HAES group did not lose or gain weight; they stayed the same weight throughout the two years. By the end of the study period, the HAES women showed significant improvements in their LDL [“bad”] cholesterol and systolic [the top number] blood pressure; the dieting group ended up where it had started. In addition, 53 percent of those following a diet reported feeling like failures; none of the HAES women did. So I think our message needs to encourage people to become healthy rather than focus on weight loss.”

“We need to resist the notion that being thin is the path to happiness. It isn’t. Trying to become thin can make people very unhappy. We’ve become so obsessed with weight that it’s a major revolution for people to say, “Hey, I can choose to see myself as attractive.” We’d all be much happier if we honored size diversity and focused on healthy choices, letting our weight fall naturally where it may.”

Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat Friday! Full Figured Fashion Week

Full Figured Fashion Week, what does that mean?

"You can work the runway, whether you're a size 2 or 22...plus-size women have been marginalized for too long."


"We are real women, we deserve fashion..."

"Full figured fashion week is a sisterhood."

"Size has no barrier on beauty!"

Full figured, fat, voluptuous, curvy, women deserve any and every thing any other woman deserves: to be treated with dignity, respect, compassion, and love.  The assumption that women who are of average or plus size do not exercise, are lazy, are uneducated, and don't deserve to feel beautiful are still made without hesitation or question.

What did you think about the comments from the women stopped and questioned on the street in the first video? Do you think high fashion should include varying sizes?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Tumblr Tuesday! Big Girl Barbie

It's Tumblr Tuesday! This week I am featuring Big Girl Barbie

On the homepage you will find this header:

Here are some photos that have been blogged or reblogged:

Do you have a Tumblr account you want featured on here?  Do you have or know of a tumblr account that you would like to see featured on here?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

A Quick Conversation I Tried Not To Have

I have always been a fat girl.  Ever since being teased as a young girl, I have internalized those feelings and no matter what the number on the scale, or the size of my pants, or how athletic I have been I have felt the same about my body: uncomfortable, unattractive, trapped.  It has only been recently, in the past six months or so, that I have begun the arduous work of digging deep and looking at my relationship with my body and working on accepting where I am today. Like with anything, some days are better than others; yet, at my heaviest, I have found more acceptance for curve of my hips, the softness of my belly, the fullness of my breasts.  At my heaviest, I can still do yoga, row, workout on the arc trainer for an hour, lift weights, laugh, and love.  I am capable in my body.

It amazes me, still, what people--strangers--find acceptable conversation to have with me because of my size.  Over the weekend, during a beautiful Autumn afternoon, I went to the gym to help burn off some calories, but to feel good; working out or just moving my body always helps me with stress.  A woman who I have seen at the gym in the past, was getting on a machine two away from me and the conversation I didn't want to have went something like this:
Stranger: "Who told you about these machines?"
Me: "Um, I've used these machines for a while.  My personal trainer told me to get off the elliptical all together and stay on the arc trainer."
Stranger: "Once the weight comes down you won't have to be so careful about your knees."
Me--still working out with one headphone on--: "It's a good workout.  I use the treadmill just to walk to loosen up or cool down."
Stranger--still not working out--: "Yea who told you about the incline on here? I can't get above 28."
Me: "No one, I just push myself."  At this point she probably said something about weight and knees two or three times and I didn't really want to talk to her to begin with, especially since I was trying to finish up and talking to her was making me turn my neck.
Stranger: "I can't get over 28."
Me: "Well, have a good work out."

Seriously annoying.  I'm here to workout, not qualify myself as an athlete or look for solidarity from strangers who make inappropriate comments to begin with.  Just workout.  I don't need to hear about your knees, or be told by you or anyone else for that matter, about what I need to be worrying about in regards to my body.  I don't need to do anything.  I choose to workout because it makes me feel better, because I want to be in better shape, and yes losing weight would be great, but acknowledging that I am capable now, in the body I'm in now is important. The message we are always told is that women are the number on the scale; their level of importance, their morality, their capabilities are all based on a number that has been defined for us, not by us. I am so tired of fat being so derogatory and also defining.  If someone is fat, they are seen as fat before anything else. It as seen as worse then most things, as if skinny is somehow associated with capable, smart, kind; fat tends to be associated with being lazy, uneducated, incapable. Fat or skinny, this is only one adjective to describe anyone; it is not the end all be all.

Have you ever experienced bullying because of how you look? Whether you are skinny or fat, have you had people approach you to talk to you about your weight in appropriately? What are some of the stereotypes you have faced due to how your body looks? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat Friday! The Adipositivity Project

Substantia Jones, the photographer and brains behind this project, wrote this mission statement explaining her goals:

MISSION:
The Adipositivity Project aims to promote size acceptance, not by listing the merits of big people, or detailing examples of excellence (these things are easily seen all around us), but rather, through a visual display of fat physicality. The sort that’s normally unseen.

The hope is to widen definitions of physical beauty. Literally.

The photographs here are close details of the fat female form, without the inclusion of faces. One reason for this is to coax observers into imagining they’re looking at the fat women in their own lives, ideally then accepting them as having aesthetic appeal which, for better or worse, often translates into more complete forms of acceptance.

The women you see in these images are educators, executives, mothers, musicians, professionals, performers, artists, activists, clerks, and writers. They are perhaps even the women you’ve clucked at on the subway, rolled your eyes at in the market, or joked about with your friends.
This is what they look like with their clothes off.

Some are showing you their bodies proudly. Others timidly. And some quite reluctantly. But they all share a determination in altering commonly accepted notions of a narrow and specific beauty ideal.

I love this project! Like the woman in the video expresses, where are we ever exposed to images of fat women celebrating them? We are constantly bombarded with derogatory or denigrating messages towards images of varying sizes; god forbid a woman wear anything above a size 4-6. Oh wait, the average size a woman wears is a 12-14. Even the word fat is never used as simply an adjective, the tone is always negative.  The beautiful images in this project have varying tones and no matter what the tone may be, whether it's joyous or pensive, they are all featuring the beauty of the woman, not in spite of being fat, but a moment of her beauty and her fat.

What do you think about this project?  Do you have any other photographer or artist who is doing similar work? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Chubby Bunnies

It's Tumblr Tuesday!  Today I'm giving a shout-out to the wonderful blog Chubby Bunnies!  When you go to the homepage, it reads: 

"This is for the lovers of all the chubby bunnies out there. A place where we can feel safe and proud to show off our curves. If you have any problems with occasional nudity or scantily clad women, then this is not the site for you. This is a judgment free zone ♡"

Here are some photos that have been posted so far this month

Photo Source: red-rolls

Photo Source: Unknown, Myriam

Photo Source: Superbbw

Photo Source: fuckyeahchubbylingerie

Photo Source: Unknown

You can also find Chubby Bunnies on Facebook

Do you have a Tumblr account? Are you or do you love chubby bunnies? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat Friday: Tara Lynn, Whales, and Body Image

Tara Lynn, Photo Courtsey: Elle Magazine

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?!

This picture of french model Tara Lynn and message below in a post originated by Delphine Feiberg has been reblogged over and over again. I came across it through a friend on her facebook page. I love the body positive message. However, what's obnoxious is it's a picture of an average sized woman and yet the message is of acceptance. Maybe I'm more sensitive to the term "whale" since I remember in 5th grade being called this name repeatedly. As if that time in a young girl's life isn't awkward enough, to have the immaturity of young boys call you a "whale" because you have hips and breasts before many of the other girls certainly added to my dysmorphic view of my body. It was the beginning of a continuous battle of being able to see myself clearly. Lately, I have been able to embrace my body and all of it's rolls and curves--even being at the heaviest I've ever been--but today is not one of those days. Today I woke up not wanting to look in a mirror, not wanting to get dressed, not want to have to try and find something to wear that I feel good in. Today is one of those days that I wish the sixteen year old girl version of me had the community of body acceptance and was exposed to more images of healthy looking women. Today is one of those days that knowing the size of my pants and the number on the scale haunts me and I long for the body I had a decade ago; one that I didn't love then. These melancholic feelings come usually once a month, becoming louder when my pmdd begins. I know this feeling will pass and I know that my increased lower back pain also makes other things less tolerable. 

While all of this inner struggle happens today, I will also get outside and appreciate the beautiful Autumn weather in the town I grew up in, spend time with my parents, and look forward to visiting with my younger sister in NYC tomorrow.

Did you experience bullying in adolescence? How does this image affect you, if at all? What is your reaction to what Feiberg wrote under the image? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

The Next Big Thing: American Apparel XL Model Search Over, Almost

The wait is over!  Well, sort of. We still don't know who the winner is in The Next Big Thing, but we know it's not Nancy Upton. She received the most votes and rightfully is the winner, yet here is the letter, in its entirety, she received from American Apparel:

Dear Nancy Upton,

My name is Iris Alonzo and I am a Creative Director at American Apparel. Along with four other women, I conceived of the Next BIG Thing campaign for American Apparel. Firstly, we are very sorry that we offended you. Our only motive was to discover and celebrate the many beautiful XL women around the globe who enjoy our brand, and to promote the recent size additions to our collection. Nothing more, nothing less. We would also like to assure you that no one is getting fired over your stunt, as you expressed concern about in a recent interview. We are fortunate to have a great boss who trusts and believes in our instincts and ideas, and we are still very excited about all of our Next BIG Things and looking forward to meeting our new XL brand ambassadors.

It's a shame that your project attempts to discredit the positive intentions of our challenge based on your personal distaste for our use of light-hearted language, and that "bootylicous" was too much for you to handle. While we may be a bit TOO inspired by Beyoncé, and do have a tendency to occasionally go pun-crazy, we try not to take ourselves too seriously around here. I wonder if you had taken just a moment to imagine that this campaign could actually be well intentioned, and that my team and I are not out to offend and insult women, would you have still behaved in the same way, mocking the confident and excited participants who put themselves out there? Maybe you'll find it interesting that in addition to simply responding to customer demand and feedback, when you're a vertically-integrated company, actual jobs are created from new size additions. In this case, for the XL women who will model them, industrial workers that make them, retail employees that sell them and beyond. That's the amazing reality of American Apparel's business.

Though I could spend hours responding to your accusations and assumptions, this isn't the appropriate forum for that, so I will only briefly address a few issues here. In regards to April Flores' "that's not our demographic" experience, I don't recall the name of the confused employee credited with saying that, but he or she was sadly uninformed, and our company certainly does not endorse their statement. For as long as I can remember, we have offered sizes up to 3XL in our basic styles, and as far as adding larger sizes to the rest of our line is concerned, if there is the demand and manufacturing power to support it, we're always game. There are thousands of brands in the market who have no intention of supporting natural - and completely normal - full-figured women, and American Apparel is making a conscious effort to change that, both with our models and our line. If every brand that tried to do this was met with such negative press, we may have to wait another decade for the mainstream to embrace something so simple.

In the past, American Apparel has been targeted for various reasons, many times by journalists who weren't willing to go the extra mile to even visit the factory or meet the people in charge. Dov is a great executive director and American Industrialist, but there are hundreds of other decision-makers in our company, over half of whom are women. I suppose you have read a few too many negative pieces about us that have helped to form your opinion of who we are and what we stand for, and perhaps this has clouded your ability to give us a chance. I get it. I read some of it too. As a creative who isn't always the most tactful and tends to stay away from the limelight, maybe I haven't spoken up as much as I should have over the past 8 years that I've worked at American Apparel. Perhaps I could have shed some light on some issues that have been left cloudy over the years. However, sensational media will always need something to latch on to and success, spandex and individuality (and mutton chops circa 2004) are certainly easy targets. And who knows - maybe the PR ups and downs are all part of our DNA as a company. What I do know is that after all the years I have been working for this company I can wholeheartedly say that American Apparel is an amazing and inspiring place to work. I can't speak for everyone, but I can represent of a ton of people I know when I say that we really like Dov and we passionately believe in his vision for a beautiful factory with sustainable practices. We are the largest sewing factory in North America, after all...10,000 jobs is nothing to sniff at. A lot of people would be very sad if this company wasn't around.

That said, we realize that we are in no way perfect and that we're still learning. We want to do better or differently in many areas, and we are actively working on them every day. You're literally witnessing a transparent, sincere, innovative, creative company go through puberty in the spotlight of modern media. It's not easy!

Oh - and regarding winning the contest, while you were clearly the popular choice, we have decided to award the prizes to other contestants that we feel truly exemplify the idea of beauty inside and out, and whom we will be proud to have representing our company.

Please feel free to contact me directly anytime. If you want to know the real scoop about our company before writing a story, I've got it (or if I don't, I can put you in touch with the person that does!).

Best of luck,

Iris Alonzo
Creative Director
American Apparel 

I don't know what's more disheartening about this letter, the fact that Iris defends the offensive and overused puns used in The Next Big Thing XL mode search, or that she implies that adding about twenty new pieces into the XL category somehow creates a plethora of jobs, one that should be noted: "actual jobs are created from new size additions. In this case, for the XL women who will model them, industrial workers that make them, retail employees that sell them and beyond. That's the amazing reality of American Apparel's business."  As creative director, I expect more.  She couldn't even acknowledge the important commentary that was being made through Upton's photographs entered, nor could she see that in no way would the diction and tone, apparently inspired by Beyonce, would ever be used if it wasn't an XL model search.  Can you imagine an ad reading: do you lack hips, breasts, and have an appetite for nothing more than cigarettes and coffee?  Do you like to be photographed looking vacant?  Well, you're in luck!  Get your tiny little twig body into our contest and prove that bony beanpoles are sexy too!  Ladies, we have puny pant sizes just for you!  And shirts that won't hide, but show off your emaciated and gaunt figure! No, you can't because it's extremely offensive and alludes to unhealthy lifestyle merely based on weight.  Now, I believe there is such a thing as too thin or too heavy for health reasons, but that's not what is being discussed right now.  This discussion is the amount of crap curvy, fat, plus-size women get for being an average sized woman, a little smaller, or a little larger then a size 12/14. 

After Alonzo goes on and on, certainly doing a great job kissing her boss' ass though--It's safe to say, her job at American Apparel may last another "amazing and inspiring" 8 years--she finally ends the letter with what seems like an afterthought which should be the bulk of why she responded to Upton in the first place with, "Oh - and regarding winning the contest, while you were clearly the popular choice, we have decided to award the prizes to other contestants that we feel truly exemplify the idea of beauty inside and out, and whom we will be proud to have representing our company."


In the (almost) end, I'm not surprised American Apparel didn't award Upton with the modeling contract. She had already made her stance clear when she wrote "I most certainly would not model for American Apparel, because (pretty obviously) I don't agree with their business practices. I also would not expect to be asked to do so, even if I receive a majority of the votes (something I never planned on)."  


What do you think about American Apparel's letter to Upton?  Do you agree or disagree with the importance of Nancy Upton's photographic commentary on women and weight?  Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

American Apparel XL Model Search Follow-Up

Remember the hideous and offensive language used in the American Apparel XL Campaign: The Next Big Thing, which made it nearly impossible to feel good, let alone applaud the addition to bigger options?  If you don't, you can read my first post about it here.  I posted a set of pictures on my tumblr, but I felt like this is noteworthy and deserved a full blog post!

Size 12--remember, the average size an American woman wears--Nancy Upton, has entered the contest, but not in the way most have.  Her photographs are a very necessary commentary on the on why the company chose such anti-curvy/fat/plus-size fatphobic language when searching for just that!  And she makes her feelings about the language as obvious as it can get.  You can see all of the photos on her tumblr here!  She is already in the number one spot for winning, but you can vote for her here and show your support and keep her in the number one spot!

One of the photos Nancy Upton used for the model search.

The first photo you will see of her on her tumblr!

 Vote for Nancy Upton!!

Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fat Fashion: A Continued Conversation

In my post last week, Fierce Fat Feminism: Language Around Weight, I referred to a TeenVogue article, Body Language: Blogger Rachel Adams on the label "plus-size."  I wanted to acknowledge the amazing women who you may have missed since the only mention of them was a link on the bottom of the page.

You can read detailed descriptions about them here.
You can also check out my tumblr page for images and also links to sites for plus-size friendly fashion.

Ragini Nag Rao, curiousfancy.com

Gabi Gregg, gabifresh.com

Amanda Johnson, candimandi.typepad.com

Nicolette Mason, nicolettemason.blogspot.com

Jaimielee Velasquez, hippopotamuslee.blogspot.com

Nadia Aboulhosn, nadiaaboulhosn.blogspot.com

Georgina Doull, cupcakesclothes.blogspot.com

Franceta Johnson, Franticdreams.com

Sakina Benachich, saksinthecity.blogspot.com

You can find more fat fashion and body positive blogs of women who are not a size 0 or even a size 10 at One Plus-Size Fashion Resource

Young Fat and Fabulous

Fatshionable

Are you plus-size/fat/big/curvy/voluptuous and love fashion? Or are you not plus-size, love fashion, and believe all women deserve a wardrobe that is fun, eclectic, and in style? Where do you shop? Do you have a favorite store(s), online or otherwise? What is the newest edition to your closet? See anything you like? Comment below or email me shapedbymylife@gmail.com

Fierce Fat Feminism: The Language About Weight

With the American Apparel XL Campaign I wrote earlier this week and the piece I wrote just yesterday: What Came First, the Ad or the Attitude?,  it wasn't so looking so good (pun intended) for women or young girls in terms of feminism or fashion.  I'm happy to report the JCPenney sweatshirt has already been pulled with the company making this statement:

"J.C. Penney is committed to being America's destination for great style and great value for the whole family. We agree that the "Too pretty" t-shirt does not deliver an appropriate message, and we have immediately discontinued its sale. Our merchandise is intended to appeal to a broad customer base, not to offend them. We would like to apologize to our customers and are taking action to ensure that we continue to uphold the integrity of our merchandise that they have come to expect."

There is more good news!  I was directed toward an article via Golda Poretsky, in TeenVogue: Body Language: Blogger Rachel Adams on the Label "Plus-Size."

"People and publications are both finally starting to get the idea that you can be fashionable no matter what size you wear. But, while larger bodies are getting featured more often in the world of fashion, the words we use to describe bigger bodies are complicated. Old associations we all make with some words can be the cause for hurt feelings, and the euphemisms we use in their place—even the ones we think are complimentary—often aren't accurate descriptors and can come off as condescending.  I, personally, cannot stand it when someone calls me "curvy." For starters, it doesn't describe any one body type uniquely. Humans are not made of 90-degree angles, every body has curves! Curviness is a quality inherent to being a three-dimensional person. More importantly, making up "less offensive" nicknames to describe my body only implies that the way my body is isn't okay. My body happens to be fat. Fat doesn't mean unhealthy (as studies like this one show) and it certainly doesn't mean unfashionable or unattractive or any of the other insults we've confused with the real meaning of the word. Since it is okay for me to be fat, and since that word is not an insult, why not just call me fat and cut out the middle man?

Of course, nothing is ever that simple. The word "fat," just like the word "curvy," is loaded. Without an explanation, it's easy to make assumptions about what we mean by the words we use and it's even easier to mistakenly believe that the way we describe a body, whether it's thin, fat, short, or tall, also describe that person's character. Those misunderstandings can make it hard to talk about the different experiences we have living in different bodies and those conversations are absolutely critical. Until we acknowledge the differences, they can work as disadvantages.

It is different to dress my body than it is to dress someone who's thin. It's not because you can ever be big to "pull off" certain styles or because there are arbitrary rules for camouflaging "problem areas" that must be followed. People who have bigger bodies can wear any style that those with smaller bodies can wear because fashion is about confidence; I spent my summer in mini skirts, crop tops, and I even had a few bikinis in heavy (pun intended) rotation because I liked the clothes and I, personally, loved how I looked in them. Dressing my body is different for the very simple reason that I am limited by what stores sell clothing that I can physically put onto my size 18 body. Many clothing stores do not make available clothing that fits me and I have to either figure out a way make it work or utilize clothing lines and stores that the industry calls "plus-size." Why they chose that terrible name is lost on me but, until the name changes or clothing lines start carrying my size, plus-size is an accurate descriptor of the clothes that I wear and the extra work I have to do when I adapt fashion to fit my body. Pointing out that someone wears plus-size clothing is never an insult, because having a body that requires larger sizes is not insulting. Ignoring the fact that a person wears these larger sizes also ignores the extra work they've had to do to find pieces that fit them the way they like and makes it harder for other people struggling to find cute clothes that fit use that experience as a resource."

Andy one of my best friends & myself at our 8th grade graduation. 13 yrs old

I have highlighted the pieces of what Rachel Adams wrote that really stood out to me.  I am not in a place where I accept and like the word "fat" and my own personal struggle with body acceptance and distorted body image continue; I grew up in a world where I didn't have these communities or conversations or acceptance.  At the young age of 13, the assumptions that having hips meant I was fat, thus meaning I was unhealthy and unattractive, which then directly correlated to inherent character flaws, really shaped the way I have viewed and thought about myself and my body.  I used to wear boys clothing because it wasn't so form fitting.  The language surrounding health, weight, and the wide arrange of expectations started to become more and more confusing.  I was also in a strange place of still being a tomboy, but being very aware that the world viewed me differently than my male counterparts, and also viewed me differently than my skinny single-digit wearing friends.

Summer 2001, Freshman Orientation at I.C. 18 yrs. old

Those assumptions paved a bumpy path that only now, in my late twenties, am I starting to wrap my head around and dissect; how does one accept their body for as it is, nurture their body, not obsess over the size their body is or wears, not obsess over calories or the opposite of completely ignoring what goes into their body, and ultimately how do you love your body, love yourself, accept where you are, but at the same time make changes or still work toward becoming more fit, ie, wearing a smaller size?  Even while I write this I struggle to find the appropriate language to accurately address what I mean, without using language that is so warped with negative connotations, that the message is lost.  These are genuine questions I have on a pretty regular basis; the 13 year old girl inside of me still has a difficult time believing, "you're ok, right where you are."



But I am my own worst critic and lately it has been difficult not to beat myself up, not to feel less-than because I have more-than...more than I should, more than the media says is acceptable, more than...enough.

Has the language surrounding weight and/or the images influenced how you view yourself and others?  Do you think it's possible to make "fat" an acceptable word to use without all of the misconceived negative connotations?  Should the free-market been left as the deciding factor for the clothing available through JCPenney?  If no one bought it, then it would have been pulled eventually, right?  What have you done today to live in a body-positive world?  Have you treated yourself kindly today?  What language do you use to describe yourself?  Can you write a list of 10 things you like about your body?  Comment below or email me: shapedbymylife@gmail.com