Tuesday, July 12, 2011
5:00 Ante Meridian
Last night was one of those nights.
I was down at my parent's house to see them and get out of town for a couple of days. It usually starts with a few good nights of sleep, followed by a few terrible. Friday night I was exhausted and slept well, waking up and making it to the second tutoring orientation by 10am before driving downstate as soon as the session ended about quarter after two. Tired from a full morning of discussion followed by a solid three hour drive, and then shopping with my mama for a few things for the house, I went to bed a little after 11pm and slept twelve hours. My alarm went off at 8:30, but I went in and out of dreams until 11am. Feeling refreshed, I spent Sunday with my mom most of the day, more shopping and errands and then just hanging out at the house talking. I was pretty tired again and went to bed around 11pm (which is pretty early for me, but I continue to try and get on this early to bed, early to rise routine the world seems to have quantified as appropriate). After tossing and turning for almost two hours, frustrated, uncomfortable from the stuffy room with no fan, and no longer tired, I went out to the living room, turned on the one ceiling fan in their entire house and sat on the couch and turned on the tv. One of my favorite movies, Secretary, was on. I indulged, watching the movie and as soon as it was over, turned off the tv, attempting to get some sleep. My mother tried to move me into the bedroom around 3am, she said, but I must have just fallen asleep, so I stayed until about 7:15 when they were awake and the AC had been on long enough for the back bedroom to be tolerable. I slept until noon, waking feeling out of sorts.
And now, tonight/this morning, depending on how you want to look at it, is one of those nights again. Almost at the end of another hour I start to play that mind game with myself: well, it is morning, why not just stay up and be really productive all morning, it will feel like two days in one with all of that time. But I can tell, even as I type this, that is not going to happen. That if I give my eyes, and my mind, a rest, it would be best...