I've never watched the show, and while I don't believe exploiting people's disease/illness should be a way to entertain ourselves (would people watch celebrity HIV or celebrity cancer? Wait, people watch the Bachelor and The Real Housewives of______. So maybe they would). Shit. Still! The sad truth is, not everyone with addiction recovers and lives a sober life. Unfortunately, the one's who do recover and stay living a life of recovery aren't the stories that seem to make the news. I wish they were.
I'm not making light of McCready's death. It is sad and painful to suffer from a demon that lives inside of you. It is difficult to be a friend or family member watching someone you love and care about struggle. Addiction, in any form, is cunning, baffling, and powerful. The peculiar mental twist and a physical allergy of the body are too much for an addict on their own to overcome. Help is not something only needed in the beginning. If you are someone you know is suffering, please reach out for help. There are many resources available now including local mental health agencies, counseling, rehabs (that don't put your struggle on display), and 12-step programs (free of charge!). If you want it, there is help.
Unfortunately, I'm Not So Tough, has a different meaning.
There are many things that make me cringe, many issues that I wonder how are we even debating something that should be an obvious human right, as in, a right for ALL humans. But one thing I don't understand and won't remain silent about is the systematic oppression of women that continues to happen in this "land of the free." It is discussed, in the news and elsewhere, the atrocities women face in other countries; violent, physically altering, systematic abuse, violence, and control. While yes, these acts are horrendous beyond words and I could write many pieces--and in fact did write a paper about female circumcision for an anthropology class I took years ago--right now, what brought this blog post to into existence is this article from The Huffington Post: Savannah Dietrich, 17-Year-Old Sexual Assault Victim, Faces Charge For Naming Attackers.
A 17 year old girl is brave enough to come forward about what happened to her and because the boys got a slap on the wrist, she tweeted their names--don't women want to know if there is a creep in their midst? don't parent's want to know their daughters are not spending time with boys who think this kind of behavior is acceptable?--and now the lawyer for the perpetrators of the crime is trying to silence her.
Dietrich's attorneys want her contempt hearing open to the media,
arguing she has a First Amendment right to speak about her case and to a
public hearing.
The boys' attorneys, however, have asked to keep the hearing closed.
The contempt charge carries a possible sentence of 180 days in jail and a $500 fine.
The boys pleaded guilty on June 26 to first-degree sexual abuse and
misdemeanor voyeurism. Dietrich says she was unaware of a plea agreement
until just before it was announced in court.
She
could not say what the proposed punishment was because of the court
order, but said she feels like it was a slap on the wrist.
The teens are to be sentenced next month, and the judge could reject or modify the terms of the proposed agreement. When Judge Dee McDonald admonished everyone at the hearing not to
speak about what happened in court or about the crime, Dietrich said she
cried.
"They got off very easy ... and they tell me to be quiet, just silencing me at the end," she said.
Afterwards Dietrich tweeted, "They said I can't talk about it or I'll
be locked up. ....Protect rapist is more important than getting justice
for the victim in Louisville."
David Marburger, an Ohio media law specialist, said Dietrich should
have tried to get the courts to vacate the gag order rather than simply
violating it.
But Gregg Leslie, interim executive director of the Reporters
Committee for Freedom of the Press, said Dietrich should "not be legally
barred from talking about what happened to her. That's a wide-ranging
restraint on speech."
After everything Dietrich has been through, and the courage it takes to come forward with this information, especially having to go to school wondering who saw the pictures (isn't high school hard enough?), being ordered to silence is another way for the system to keep women and girls oppressed. Why are we so adamant about protecting these boys, who took advantage of this girl when she was vulnerable? Because they are 17? The difference between 17 and 18 is, wait, oh that's right, nothing in terms of knowing whether or not this behavior is acceptable or appropriate. Anyone who knows how to treat another human being with dignity and respect knows very early on. Anyone who believes behavior like this is acceptable and is not held accountable for their actions, will only believe that they did nothing wrong, and that they can do it again. Who knows, maybe next time if the girl isn't passed out, he'll think it's ok to hit her to get what he wants, or worse.
Dietrich said she just needed to stand up for herself. "I'm at the point
that if I have to go to jail for my rights, I will do it."
First wow, just wow. Also, kids making fun of fat people is nothing new, however with the new technology now we all get the front row seat of watching an elderly woman get teased in a disgusting way by a group of boys on a bus she is supposed to be monitoring. There are several things that came up for me while watching most of this video, because honestly, I couldn't waste 10 minutes of my life watching a group of bratty and ignorant boys lacking compassion, continually bully this woman while she sat there and did nothing.
First of all, I would be so ashamed of my child if I found out they were treating another human being like this, child or adult, does not deserve to be treated like this. When will people learn that bullying happens everywhere, to many, of all ages and sizes. I think about how a child learns to act this way. Growing up in a house where bullying and teasing is acceptable behavior, where they themselves are teased and look for someone who they can emotional beat down to feel a false sense of superiority, and also mob mentality; get a group of people together with insecurities and they feed off each other becoming repetitive and more obnoxious and aggressive. "Dumb-ass, fat-ass." "Maybe she is an elephant." "She's gonna pick out
which kid she's gonna rape next." "Karen wants herpes." "Fucking hearing
aid." "What's your address so I can piss all
over your door." "I'll fucking take a crap in your mouth."
Secondly, if this woman is the monitor of the bus, why are these kids aggressively berating her with her sitting and doing nothing?! People can not be hired for jobs where they are put in a position to oversee and are in charge of keeping an environment safe and calm, especially concerning children, when they don't have the ability to maintain some level of authority. The Jezebel article ends with addressing this very issue with: "What should an adult do in a situation like this? Yell? Scream?
Issue threats? Klein didn't scold, reprimand or exert any authority
over the kids. Was it the right thing to do, or did it exacerbate the
problem? It certainly seems like the boys got into a very aggressive
mood, trying to provoke and hurt her, and Klein's passive defense ended
up playing right into the predator/prey dynamic. She is absolutely not
to blame for the incident, but while watching, I was trying to imagine what, if anything, could have been done to diffuse the nasty environment in which kids were clearly testing — and pushing — limits."
Um, I know I'm not the only one who grew up, bickering with my sister in the backseat of the car and being told assertively, "Don't make me pull this car over!" I mean, it's not that complicated, right? She's the adult, the monitor no less! Go tell the bus driver to pull the bus over. There needs to be some sort of procedure in place so children are held accountable for their actions, and so there is no hesitation to try to teach children who are clearly lacking on so many levels of social skills and just common decency that this is not acceptable behavior.
To anyone reading this who has been bullied or is being bullied, I'm sorry. Share your story with someone, our experiences help us connect with other people who have or are going through something similar. To anyone who is bullying, which comes in so many forms, I'd like to leave this last image for you.
