Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Sugar Daddy, Sugar Mama, & Sugar Baby Debate

 (If you watch the entire video, you will be linked to part 2)

This is nothing new.  An exchange between women and men (this exchange also happens between women and women and men and men, etc).  The point was even made during the video that in the 1950's many marriages were an arrangement; men were the bread winners and the women would tend to the house, cook, clean, do laundry, and the men wouldn't have to worry or deal with the household work.  The notion of older men dating or marrying younger women for various reasons is nothing new.  In some instances, more then I think are given credit, gasp, even love and connection are involved with or without any arrangements in place!  Yet, with sites like,,, all of a sudden it is viewed as prostitution, or immoral, or degrading.  It all seems very judgmental and closed-minded to me to view it this way.  Is it not women, being in control of their bodies, using a safe method of communication, owning their desires and both parties putting their cards on the table, so to speak?  How many people I know date with these same intentions or desires, but keep them secretive or try and dress them up as something they aren't?  How is there a problem with consenting adults being clear as to what they are looking for, not always exchanging sexual encounters?  And even if there are sexual encounters exchanged, again, how is this different from what has happened for years upon years before the internet?  Women are now in a position of power in terms of their sexual expression and somehow it is not seen as just that.

This clip from Jezebel is so obnoxious I'm almost at a loss as to where to begin. SERIOUSLY, these women are so defensive and judgmental calling these "sugar babies" hookers. The ever so obnoxious and loud-mouthed Nancy Snyderman repeatedly calls the sugar babies hookers and talks over Donny Deutsch, who doesn't make his point very concisely, but I happen to agree with. What's the big deal?  The arguments seem to completely ignore that women can be sugar mama's.  Not once is it ever mentioned.  If feminism is about choices, and these women are making choices, consensual choices, then honestly, what is the big deal?  Even in "non-arranged" relationships there are negotiations and arrangements that take place; it's personal preference and compromise, only in these arranged relationships, the terms are clear from the get go.


Do you think these women should be applauded or deplored?  What kind of arrangements have you been in or are in with people you have been in relationships with?  Do you think the focus is on women being the sugar babies more then men to try and control women's sexuality?  Comment below or email me

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